The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Bernadette: So we just sit here and stare at a screen and wait for something to happen?
Wolowitz: I did it with you when we watched The Notebook.

Wolowitz: What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle?
Raj: A Romulan battle bagel?

Indian Monopoly is just like regular Monopoly, but instead of money you use rupees, instead of building hotels you build call centers, and when you pick a chance card there's a chance you die of dysentery. And just FYI, that was racist.

I'm guessing 21 seconds had something to do with that, too.

Wolowitz: You love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it's yours.

I just wanna put it out there in case I inadvertently squirt any pheromones in your direction.

This is the worst cobbler I've ever eaten. It tastes like it's made of actual ground-up shoemaker.

I was once robbed by a pre-op transsexual on J-Date and that didn't even crack my top ten.

Wolowitz: I took a scuba diving course over the summer, but it turns out I'm terrified of the ocean.
Bernadette: That's too bad.
Wolowitz: You wouldn't know anybody who wants to buy a wet suit? Boy's large?

Wolowitz: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
Raj: Considering its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on.

Wolowitz: Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me?
Penny: Not since I found out the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it.

Wolowitz: I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together.
Leonard: Yeah, it's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.

Displaying quotes 181 - 192 of 313 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Raj: Okay, here's another one: if a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie? Or, a zompire?

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