Leonard: Does your family have a history of heart disease?
Wolowitz: My family is the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this. [mimicks heart attack]

Have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skim milk?

Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. That's one of the reasons I love her.

Believe in magic, you Muggle!

That crazy bastard is looking at quirky in the rear view mirror.

I think it's like Beetlejuice. We said his name too many times.

Leonard: Still arguing which is the best CSI?
Howard: We agreed they all have their merits.

Howard: I'm not having this conversation with you Ma!
Howard's Ma: God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases!

Bernadette: I think the woman can manage to put a wig on by herself.
Howard: It's not just the wig, it's pinning her hair up, it's putting on her eyebrows...it's a two person job.

Put your tie back in your pants.

Let's go smooch some rich, wrinkled toucas.

You take this one. I spent an hour last night on 'Why can't vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror?'

TBBT Quotes

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.