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The-big-bang-theory

Let's go smooch some rich, wrinkled toucas.

You take this one. I spent an hour last night on 'Why can't vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror?'

Sheldon: I didn't want to teach those poopy heads anyway!
Howard: FYI I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.

Leonard: How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?
Howard: Apparently if you're Sheldon all you have to do is turn your back.

Howard: Oh I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: I'd like to weigh in here: No.

Nobody cares about your Kegel exercises.

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions. But there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?
Howard: It means that after we play handball I'm showering at home.

Wolowitz: He got bit by a radioactive rat.
Raj: Did he get superpowers?
Wolotiz: No, he got five stitches and a tetanus shot.

Bernadette: So we just sit here and stare at a screen and wait for something to happen?
Wolowitz: I did it with you when we watched The Notebook.

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