Howard Wolowitz Quotes
Raj: Do you think you'll go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?
Wolowitz: Jews don't have Hell. We have acid reflux.
Raj: Ahh, the premature I love you.
Wolowitz: : I guessed premature, does that count?
What did you do, Romeo? Did you pour maple syrup all over your body and ask her if she was in the mood for a short stack?
Wolowitz: Why is Leonard being a giant douche? That is, assuming, of course that giant douches are possible.
Sheldon: Of course they are -- Leonard's being one.
Wolowitz: Okay forgot giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
Sheldon: Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. And as a side note, they are one of the few animals whose scrotum is on the front of the penis.
Raj: Maybe that's what they want to talk about.
Sheldon: I can't give a speech.
Wolowitz: No, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.
Raj: Before the movie, you did twenty minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.
Raj: In Avatar, when they have sex on pandora they hook up their ponytails, so we know that their ponytails are like their junk.
Wolowitz: Yeah, so?
Raj: So when they ride horses and fly on the birds, they also use their ponytails...
Wolowitz: What's your point?
Raj: My point is if I were a horse or a bird, I'd be very nervous around James Cameron.
Wolowitz: How's it feel to get beaten up by a girl?
Sheldon: It's not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero. If only I'd had the presence of mind to absorb her. Then I'd have a mole with hair in it, instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.
Leonard: It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies; it belongs to him.
Wolowitz: Fine, he can have it back -- as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.
Wolowitz: Clearly, you've never been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashana.
Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: Who's Adam West!? Leonard, what do you talk about after the coitus?
Wolowitz: My guess is "four minutes, a new record!"
Wolowitz: Why do you have all of these unopened paychecks in your desk?
Sheldon: Because most of the things I'm planning to buy haven't been invented yet.
Wolowitz: Damn paper cut. Nothing worse than a paper cut!
Raj: Obviously you don't remember your circumcision.