Howard Wolowitz Quotes
I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland, absolutely. And I'd leave him there.
Wolowitz [about Sheldon]: How long's he been stuck?
Leonard: Intellectually about 30 hours, emotionally about 29 years.
Wolowitz: Have you tried rebooting him?
Leonard: No, I think it's a firmware problem.
I don't like to kiss and tell, but somebody made it to eighth base!
Wolowitz: I once dated a girl who believed she was abducted by aliens.
Leonard: And that didn't bother you?
Wolowitz: Au contraire; it meant she was gullible and open to a little probing.
Raj: Good news guys, I got the four hour special edition of Watchmen.
Leonard: Got it.
Wolowitz: Seen it.
Sheldon: Detailed analysis posted online.
It's not enough you get the prom queen, you have to get the head of the decorating committee, too?
Wolowitz: In romance, like show business, always leave them wanting more.
Leonard: What does that mean?
Penny: He struck out.
Katee: Thanks, Howard. Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.
Wolowitz: Come on, Katee. Don't make it sound so cheap.
Katee: I'm sorry. Fiddling with yourself in the bathtub is a real class act.
Wolowitz [about Bernadette]: She wants a commitment, but I'm not sure if she's my type.
Penny: She agreed to go out with you for free. What more do you need?
Wolowitz: Before you and Penny hooked up, did she ask for any sort of commitment?
Leonard: No, she was pretty clear about wanting to keep her options open.
Wolowitz: There are two not-unattractive middle school teachers.
Raj: Wonderful. How old are they?
Wolowitz: Fifty, fifty-five.
Raj: Woh, menopause, nature's birth control.
But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.