Wolowitz: Before you and Penny hooked up, did she ask for any sort of commitment?
Leonard: No, she was pretty clear about wanting to keep her options open.

Wolowitz: There are two not-unattractive middle school teachers.
Raj: Wonderful. How old are they?
Wolowitz: Fifty, fifty-five.
Raj: Woh, menopause, nature's birth control.

But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.

Wolowitz: Sheldon knows football?
Leonard: Apparently.
Wolowitz: I mean, Quidditch, sure. But football?

Raj: You always do this, you know. You ditch me for a woman you have no shot with
Wolowitz: I totally had a shot
Raj: With a woman you were chasing through a park? That's not a shot, that's a felony

Wolowitz: I would have caught up to her if I didn't pull my hammy
Raj: Oh please, you weigh 80 pounds, you don't have a hammy

Wolowitz: Do you like role playing games?
Bernadette: Like in the bedroom or dungeons and dragons?
Wolowitz: Either?
Bernadette: No

Wolowitz: Listen, you have to come to Shabbas dinner at my house sometime.
Bernadette: Why?
Wolowitz: A Catholic girl like you, wearing big cross like that, might just give my mother that big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.
Bernadette: Only if you come to Sunday dinner at my house wearing a yamaka
Wolowitz: It's a date

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?
Wolowitz: My mother calls me every day to see if I've had a healthy bowel movement

Wolowitz: So, what are we watching? Sex in the City, yikes!
Penny: Hey, I happen to love this movie.
Wolowitz: Fine, let's watch it. Maybe all our periods will synchronize

Wolowitz: Raj, I'm gonna really miss you.
Raj: Will you come visit me?
Wolowitz: 17 hours is a really long flight, how about we meet halfway?
Raj: Halfway is 600 miles off the coast of Japan
Wolowitz: We'll skype

Raj: When we tell the story, let's end it differently
Wolowitz: What are you thinking? A big musical number?

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj