Howard Wolowitz Quotes
Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.
you're missing the point, a Shiksa goddess is not an actual goddess, we prey on them, not to them
Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Wolowitz: No, I want to blend in
Raj: To what? Toy story?
Leonard: I don't want to go to Texas
Wolowitz: Alright and I do? My people already crossed the desert once. We're done
Wolowitz [about his mustache]: I call it the Clooney
Raj: I call it the Mario and Luigi, but whatever
Wolowitz: Sheldon. You remember the first few weeks; we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Wolowitz: That's why I added the "tator"
Wolowitz [after seeing Penny jump Leonard]: Damnit, I should have gone over and said we were back
Raj: Yeah, it was "first come, first serve."
Wolowitx: You think you can put up with Sheldon?
Raj: Well I'm a hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we're rewarded in the next. Three months in the north pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well hung billionaire with wings
Wolowitz: Just imagine ... if he says yes, we'll have an entire summer without Sheldon.
Raj: We could play outside.
Wolowitz: We could sit on the left side of the couch.
Leonard: I could use the bathroom at 8:20!
Raj: Our dreams are very small, aren't they?
Wolowitz: This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps the lid from touching the cheese.
Raj: Is that what this is for? In India, the lid just touches the cheese. Of course, we also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of chlorea so a little cardboard on our cheese is no biggie
Sheldon: Why does Leonard get to go?
Wolowitz: Because he's upset over his situation with Penny, and if I have to hear about it again, I'm gonna kick him in his ovaries
Leonard: Hey, how's it going?
Wolowitz: Cut the crap, you set this up, didn't you?
Wolowitz: She's a hooker, isn't she?
Raj: A prostitute, yes
Wolowitz: You already gave her the money?
Wolowitz: ... Thank you