Raj: When we tell the story, let's end it differently
Wolowitz: What are you thinking? A big musical number?

Yes, she's pushy, and yes, he's whipped, but that's not the expression

Wolowitz [to Raj]

They're called tattoo sleeves. I bought them online. Raj got a set too. Put them on, have sex with some freaky girl with her business pierced and I can take them off and still be buried in a Jewish cemetery

Raj: What happened?
Sheldon: Obviously another carnal fiasco with the 'Shiksee' goddess.
Howard: Shiksa. Shik-Sa.
Sheldon: Forgive me. Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas. And if it was, it wasn't spoken for long.

Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.

you're missing the point, a Shiksa goddess is not an actual goddess, we prey on them, not to them

Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Wolowitz: No, I want to blend in
Raj: To what? Toy story?

Leonard: I don't want to go to Texas
Wolowitz: Alright and I do? My people already crossed the desert once. We're done

Wolowitz [about his mustache]: I call it the Clooney
Raj: I call it the Mario and Luigi, but whatever

Wolowitz: Sheldon. You remember the first few weeks; we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Wolowitz: That's why I added the "tator"

Wolowitz [after seeing Penny jump Leonard]: Damnit, I should have gone over and said we were back
Raj: Yeah, it was "first come, first serve."

Wolowitx: You think you can put up with Sheldon?
Raj: Well I'm a hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we're rewarded in the next. Three months in the north pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well hung billionaire with wings

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors

Sheldon