Howard Wolowitz Quotes
I have eleven hours with her in a confined space. Unless she's willing to jump off a moving train and tuck and roll down the side of a hill, she will eventually succumb to the acquired taste that is Howard WolowitzWolowitz [about Summer Glau]
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Wolowitz: Ma, you gotta rent me a tux!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Right now? What kind of sex are you having up there?
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Okay. One way to look at this is I'm getting new equipment and you're not, and that's unfair. But a better way to look at this is that I'm getting sex and you're not, and that's delightful!
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Leslie: Isn't it nice when your good fortune makes others miserable?
Wolowitz: You know, most people don't get that!
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Wolowitz [about his phone call]: Looks like I'm going to have sex tonight
Penny: His right hand is calling him?
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Leonard: Okay, is everyone clear on the plan?
Wolowitz: Yes. Koothrappali is going to wet himself, I'm going to throw up, Sheldon is going to run away, and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?
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Sheldon: If I were to give you this gift basket, based on that action alone, and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.
Employee: Excuse me?
Sheldon: Here. [gives woman gift basket] Now, are we friends, colleagues, lovers? Are you my grandmother?
Employee: I don't understand what you're talking about, and you're making me a little uncomfortable.
Wolowitz: See, sounds just like you and Penny. We'll take it.
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Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, get the door!
Howard: Really, is that what you do when someone knocks? I had no idea
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Raj: We now have the address of the Top Model house.
Howard: God bless you, Google Street Viewâ€”registered trademark.
Leonard: Okay, for the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Wolowitz: You know what? If it's creepy to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.
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Sheldon: The entire nation dedicated a decade of effort and treasure to put a man on the moon.
Wolowitz: Well, my fellow Americans, before this year is out we will put a Wolowitz on one of America's top models.
Raj: And a large number of people will believe it never happened
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Wolowitz: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Wolowitz: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton
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They gave him an assistant? If I want a new pen I have to go to the bank with wire cuttersWolowitz [about Raj]
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