Howard Wolowitz Quotes
Raj: Hey, look, I found an iPod!
Wolowitz: Smashed beyond repairâ€”what are you going to do with it?
Raj: What else? Sell it on ebay as "slightly used"
- Permalink: Hey, look, I found an iPod! Smashed beyond repairâ€”what are y...
Leonard: I'm her friend, I'm not going to take advantage of her vulnerability.
Wolowitz: Wait, so you're saying that if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her right there, right now, you'll just walk away?
Leonard: I said I'm her friend, not her gay friend
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Wolowitz [to a black nurse]: Okay, I get it. I know how the world works. [flashes a five] How about I introduce you to the man who freed your people?
Nurse: Unless my people were freed by Benjamin Franklin and his five twin brothers, you are wasting your time
- Permalink: Okay, I get it. I know how the world works. How about I introdu...
Sheldon: Leonard made it very clear, he doesn't want a party.
Wolowitz: Did someone say party?
Penny: He just doesn't know he wants one because he never had one.
Wolowitz: I suppose that's possible, but for the record I've never had a threesome and yet I still know I want one.
Penny: Howard here's a difference: the possibility exists that Leonard could have a birthday party before hell freezes over.
Wolowitz: Fine, if I do have a threesome you can't be part of it... I'm just kidding. Yes, you can. Can you bring a friend?
- Permalink: Leonard made it very clear, he doesn't want a party. Did someo...
Penny: Well, Sheldon you are his friend. Friends give each other presents.
Sheldon: I accept your premise; I reject your conclusion.
Wolowitz [whispers]: Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
Wolowitz: Just do it.
Penny: It's a non-optional social convention.
Sheldon: Ahh, fair enough.
Wolowitz: He came with a manual
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Penny [on phone]: How about this, you keep him there a little longer, and when you get to the party, I'll point out which of my friends are easy.
Wolowitz: ... Don't toy with me, woman.
Penny: I got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem, I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.
Wolowitz: Thy will be done
- Permalink: How about this, you keep him there a little longer, and when you...
Raj: Missy, do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Raj: We Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Wolowitz: Yeah, well, my people invented circumcision
- Permalink: Missy, do you enjoy pajamas? I guess. We Indians invented th...
Wolowitz: Okay, you two have to back off.
Raj: Why should I back off? You back off, dude.
Leonard: Excuse me, this is my apartment, and she's my roommate's sister.
Howard: So what? You've already got Penny.
Leonard: How do I have Penny? In what universe do I have Penny?
Wolowitz: So, I can have Penny?
Leonard: Hell, no!
- Permalink: Okay, you two have to back off. Why should I back off? You bac...
I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister
- Permalink: I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister
Penny [to Leonard]: Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that make you who you are.
Wolowitz: I guess that makes me large breasts
- Permalink: Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that ma...
Sheldon: I propose we add "pants must be worn at all times in the time machine"
Wolowitz: I was gonna put down a towel
- Permalink: I propose we add pants must be worn at all times in the time mac...
Leonard: The elevator's been broken for two years.
Sheldon: I've been meaning to ask you. Do you think we should make a call about that?
Wolowitz: Not necessary. I have a Masters in Engineering. I remotely repair satellites in a regular basis. I troubleshoot space shuttle payloads. When the Mars Rover started pulling to the left I performed a front-end alignment from 62 million miles away. [pushes the button...] No, that baby's broken
- Permalink: The elevator's been broken for two years. I've been meaning to...
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.
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