The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory

Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.

Howard: Hey, I work at the same university you do.
Sheldon: Yes, and Hawkeye's in the Avengers but no one ever says, "Help, Hawkeye!"

Howard: Is that book called Lies I Tell to Get Sex?
Raj: Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.
Amy: Can I borrow it when you're done?

Astronaut Massimino: Well, you know how astronauts need to have the "right stuff"?
Howard: Sure.
Astronaut Massimino: The stuff you have is wrong.

Raj: This might be my second favorite brown magic wand.
Howard: Well, that's the last time I play with that.

Howard: You okay?
Amy: Why? Because my boyfriend's off playing choo-choo with some weirdo?

Sheldon: Howard, which pocket watch will you be wearing at dinner on the train?
Howard: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm afraid if we wear the same pocket watch, it will be embarrassing.
Howard: I don't own a pocket watch.
Sheldon: Oh, my.

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I lied about the Pepto -- I always use the little cup.

Raj: So that's it. Everything's sold out?
Leonard: Yeah.
Howard: I can't believe we're not going.
Sheldon: It's okay. You know, there-there's always WonderCon in Annheim, you know? That-That's just as good. ... Excuse me. [Cries]

Raj: Anyone in?
All the Guys: No!
Sheldon: Do not stop refreshing your screens!
All the Guys: Refresh. Refresh. Refresh....
Penny: Yeah, this is not gonna be enough coffee.

Howard: Yeah, he's nice because he likes you.
Amy: What? No he doesn't.
Raj: He brought you a pretty rock.
Amy: So? He does that every day----Oh.

Howard: A mineral and rock show? That would be awful even without Bert.
Amy: So what am I supposed to do now?
Raj: Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 313 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

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