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Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton says, "There is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin."
Leonard: And, he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.

Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.

However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it.

Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.

Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought, if I had a white name, it would be Gavin.

Raj: I can see my little princess while I'm at work, right?
Howard: Why can't you just watch porn like a normal guy?

Leonard: Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure. Friends are forever.
Howard [coughing]: So, is tenure.

Sheldon, I swear to God I'm going to kill you.

Howard: It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these stairs.
Bernadette: Yeah, try doing it in heels.
Howard: I am.

Sheldon: I found three bowling pins. Do you juggle these or are you missing seven?
Howard: Juggle.
Sheldon: You health nuts kill me.

Bernadette: You can't just throw everything in the closet.
Howard: Hey, you can tell what to do or you can tell me how to do it, but you can't do both. This isn't sex.

Howard: Last time I was here, I was a scrawny little nerd.
Leonard: And, now, you're also an astronaut.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 303 in total

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

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