The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought, if I had a white name, it would be Gavin.

Raj: I can see my little princess while I'm at work, right?
Howard: Why can't you just watch porn like a normal guy?

Leonard: Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure. Friends are forever.
Howard [coughing]: So, is tenure.

Sheldon, I swear to God I'm going to kill you.

Howard: It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these stairs.
Bernadette: Yeah, try doing it in heels.
Howard: I am.

Sheldon: I found three bowling pins. Do you juggle these or are you missing seven?
Howard: Juggle.
Sheldon: You health nuts kill me.

Bernadette: You can't just throw everything in the closet.
Howard: Hey, you can tell what to do or you can tell me how to do it, but you can't do both. This isn't sex.

Howard: Last time I was here, I was a scrawny little nerd.
Leonard: And, now, you're also an astronaut.

Come on. If I was any good at convincing women to do stuff, I wouldn't have spent so much of my 20s in the shower.

Thanks for ruining lobster for me.

I mean ... we can have a pants party. Go put some on.

She hid my Xbox like I'm a child. And, my mom got me that for my birthday so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 323 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.