Howard Wolowitz Quotes
Howard: There's a party for incoming post-docs tonight. Go to it and meet someone who isn't made of grease or pie.
Raj: You think you're so cool because your wife is a person?
And, space beats water.
Howard: When this all blows over, remember that voice. It's kind of a turn-on.
Bernadette: It turns you on when I sound like Raj?
Howard: Son of a bitch, she's gone.
Bernadette: Where'd she go?
Howard: I don't know. She didn't leave a note.
Bernadette: You were the one who was supposed to put her back in the stroller!
Howard: No, I wasn't! You were!
Bernadette: No, I wasn't!
Howard: Yes, you were!
Bernadette: Well, you throw like a girl.
Howard: Classy dog.
Raj: Yes. Also, don't forget to close the toilet or she'll drink out of it.
Howard: I feel for ya I have a psychotic mommy, too.
Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton says, "There is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin."
Leonard: And, he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.
Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.
However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it.
Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.
Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought, if I had a white name, it would be Gavin.
Raj: I can see my little princess while I'm at work, right?
Howard: Why can't you just watch porn like a normal guy?
Leonard: Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure. Friends are forever.
Howard [coughing]: So, is tenure.