The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory

I mean ... we can have a pants party. Go put some on.

She hid my Xbox like I'm a child. And, my mom got me that for my birthday so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.

Howard: A micro-valentine for a microbiologist.
Leonard: From her micro-husband.

Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far what would I need with you.
Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you'd be doing both of us a favor.

If you don't leave now, she'll use food and guilt to keep you there the rest of your life.

Raj: I didn't know you can have a cyst inside a cyst.
Mrs. Wolowitz: The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls.

Howard: They spent a ton of money developing this dandruff medication that had the horrible side effect of anal leakage.
Raj: Is there a good anal leakage?

Raj: Aren't you gonna to eat lunch?
Howard: Nah, I blew my food allowance on Pokemon cards?

Bernadette: No, here's how love works. You're gonna return the machine or you can print out a working set of lady parts and sleep with those.
Howard: [pondering]
Bernadette: Oh, my God! Are you actually thinking about it?

Raj: Oh, okay, great. Now, I can look like Val Kilmer as Batman, instead of Val Kilmer as he looks today.
Howard: All right, you can suck it in a little bit.

Leonard: Maybe it's a shipping problem.
Howard: What?
Leonard: Maybe Wesley Snipes and Toucan Sam just got action figures that look like you guys.

My wife came with both fun bags and money bags.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 313 in total

TBBT Quotes

Professor Proton is dead?

Sheldon

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

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