Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

Jack: Meditation is a waste of time, time you could've spent reading that book he gave you on business lunches: Buffet...on Buffets.

I coined the phrase "You wish, pal!"

Jack: Alfredo. 2 p.m.
Liz: I'm not dressed for that.
Jack: You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?

Bianca: Johnny, promise me you won't sell the Arby's.
Jack: I won't. I'm going to board it up, open all of the windows and let nature have at it.

I didn't get a bathroom door that looks like a wall by being bad at business.

I haven't seen this many riled up dirtbags since CVS started to put the cold medicine behind the counter.

Jack: She's done a complete 180.
Jenna: Even better, Jack. She made a full 360!

Liz: It's like on TV. It used to be you couldn't say crap, then they let that slide and now we can say whatever we want. Douchebag. Asswipe.
Jack: Anal rot.
Liz: Exactly.

Liz: No, listen to me. She's not fun, she's just crazy. Like, grab a cop's gun crazy.
Jack: Lemon, having known Claire for a very enjoyable 20 minutes and you for what feels like infinity. I'm going to go with Claire on this one.

Boston is the greatest city in the world. Boston Tea Party, Boston Cream Pie, Boston Rob Mariano.

She keeps confusing me with this ridiculous notion that sex and love are somehow connected.

30 Rock Quotes

Why did you have to offend the gay community? It is the most organized of all the communities. They make the Japanese look like the Greeks.

Liz

Tracy: What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!
Liz: That is solid.