I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

Unfortunately, unless Harry's Law really took off this week and no one told me, you two are the biggest stars at the network.

I'm Lizzing!

Liz: Sorry I'm not a robot!
Jack: We all are.

Jack: Our new slogan, NBC: We have a magical horse, is testing...okay.

Jack: Two questions: must I live by Superman's moral code and will the woman get older?

Do you have any idea how much paper work I'd have to do if you shot Kenneth?

Wow, that is some high level paranoid thinking...like Hitler, or Willy Wonka.

Liz: Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy.
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever heard.

Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Liz: I need to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack: With my eyes closed.

Jack: You have me over a barrel. What are you going to do?
Kenneth: Not what my uncle does when he gets a hitch-hiker over a barrel, I'll tell you that.

I haven't seen this many riled up dirtbags since CVS started to put the cold medicine behind the counter.

30 Rock Quotes

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz

Typical liberal media. That's why I get all my news from Dick Cheney's web site, DickViews.com.

Jack