Jenna: Jack, can we talk, one ten to another?
Jack: I'm an eleven, but continue.

They're called Spanx!

I'm Lizzing!

I may have sodomized our former vice president while under the influence of some weapons grade narcotics. Oh, it feels good to say that one out loud actually. That one was weighing on me.

Jack: The Game?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: T.I.?
Tracy: It not happenin.
Jack: Super head?
Tracy: No can do.
Jack: Fabolous?
Tracy: Wont do.
Jack: Redonkeykong?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: MC Skat Kat?
Tracy: What?
Jack: HoMONKulus?
Tracy: Uh-uh.
Jack: Raw Dog?
Tracy: Hell no! Me an his beef go way back. We were both on cast members on Nickelodeon show called "Ray-Ray's Garage."

Jack: Two questions: must I live by Superman's moral code and will the woman get older?

Jack: You have me over a barrel. What are you going to do?
Kenneth: Not what my uncle does when he gets a hitch-hiker over a barrel, I'll tell you that.

Jack: Lemon why do you keep spending so much money on Wigs?
Liz: Tracy's head size keeps changing.

This thing's a real cash cow, unlike Cash Cow, the NBC spinoff of Cash Cab. You try riding a cow through midtown Manhattan, Lemon. The animal will panic.

Liz: What's going on, business got ya down?
Jack: Business doesn't get me down, business gets me off.

What do people not want to talk about? Soccer, jazz, infidelity.

[on Tracy] His life is like Enron, circa 1999. So wild.

30 Rock Quotes

Oh, poor baby. Can't hack it in the big city? Gonna move to the bay area now, pretend that that was your dream the whole time? Have fun always carrying a light sweater.

Jenna

I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.

Liz