I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

[to Tracy] This is decadent. And I once went to Miami with Daryl Strawberry.

She needs to lose thirty pounds or gain sixty. Anything in between has no place on television.

Does it seem weird in here to you? Everything looks like a Mexican soap opera.

Jack: Your evaluation gave me pause.
Pete: Are you sure? Those look like hands to me.

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

[to Liz] Did the medical supply store where you bought those shows have any women's stuff?

Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick's Day. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Banks: NBC is the Titanic.
Jack: The highest grossing movie of all time?

Jack: Two questions: must I live by Superman's moral code and will the woman get older?

Jack: How much time and energy have we wasted with our sparring and our gravel-voiced double entendre?
Banks: An ass-load.

30 Rock Quotes

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

Jack