Jack: Through back channels...
Liz: Like BET?
Jack: BACK channels.

I'm Lizzing!

Liz: We need to get these guys! Don't you know the Postmaster General?
Jack: I do, but we had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. If I wanted to lick a hippie, I'd return Joan Baez's phone calls.

Liz: Sorry I'm not a robot!
Jack: We all are.

Now, there are 140 people on this show, so go out there and make 126 people very happy.

[to Liz] You're like a swarthy, big-hipped Kelly Ripa.

We've got a great show. At least that's what the Jews I pay tell me.

How could a company from Philly buy a company from New York? That would be like Vietnam defeating the United States in a ground war.

They're called Spanx!

Hallowed be my reservation. If you are able to hold my table ... Have them delay our heavenly dessert, and forgive us our lateness, as we forgive those who cause us to be late ...

Jack: Banks is no slouch. He pioneered the concept of ten-second Internet sitcoms.
[cut to computer]
Theme: Makin' it happen!
[husband walks in door]
Husband: Honey, I'm home!
Wife: [sarcastic] Oh, great!
Theme: We made it!
[credits roll]

Jack: I say we hire the one who lives by the code of the robot: Care. Love. Live.

30 Rock Quotes

Fine, I will try the other location. But frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful.


I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club. Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice. But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.