Jack: We are lovers.
Liz: Uhh that word bums me out unless it's between the words meat and pizza.

Jack: Why are you better looking in your memory?
Liz: My memory had Seinfeld money.

Does it seem weird in here to you? Everything looks like a Mexican soap opera.

Liz: I don't know if he's mentioned this to you a hundred times, but he went to Harvard.
Jack: So we know he's smart and superb at masturbation.

I would point to Sunday Night Football which features many black players and coaches.

After I'm gone, your mother might meet someone else. I want her to be happy so his death must appear to be accidental.

...and then attended Harvard Business School where I was voted, Most. I once hit a stand up triple off Fidel Castro. I was the first person ever to say, I need a vacation from this vacation. The song "Your so vain" was in fact written...by me.

Liz: You comin' downstairs?
Jack: And stand outside in a crowd like some Italian? I don't think so.

Liz: The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home... I don't know how they do it.
Jack: They clean them.

Jack: Lemon why do you keep spending so much money on Wigs?
Liz: Tracy's head size keeps changing.

The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both anglophiles and pedophiles.

Jack: My naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the three S's: surf, sun and ...
Liz: Sandwiches?

30 Rock Quotes

Oh, poor baby. Can't hack it in the big city? Gonna move to the bay area now, pretend that that was your dream the whole time? Have fun always carrying a light sweater.

Jenna

I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.

Liz