Jack: We are lovers.
Liz: Uhh that word bums me out unless it's between the words meat and pizza.

Jack: Why are you better looking in your memory?
Liz: My memory had Seinfeld money.

Does it seem weird in here to you? Everything looks like a Mexican soap opera.

Liz: I don't know if he's mentioned this to you a hundred times, but he went to Harvard.
Jack: So we know he's smart and superb at masturbation.

I would point to Sunday Night Football which features many black players and coaches.

After I'm gone, your mother might meet someone else. I want her to be happy so his death must appear to be accidental.

...and then attended Harvard Business School where I was voted, Most. I once hit a stand up triple off Fidel Castro. I was the first person ever to say, I need a vacation from this vacation. The song "Your so vain" was in fact written...by me.

Liz: You comin' downstairs?
Jack: And stand outside in a crowd like some Italian? I don't think so.

Liz: The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home... I don't know how they do it.
Jack: They clean them.

Jack: Lemon why do you keep spending so much money on Wigs?
Liz: Tracy's head size keeps changing.

The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both anglophiles and pedophiles.

Jack: My naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the three S's: surf, sun and ...
Liz: Sandwiches?

30 Rock Quotes

Jenna: Oh, I'm not worried because I have something the other actors don't.
Liz: Don't say your sexuality.
Jenna: My sexuality.
Liz: Oh, god, Jenna! When has that ever worked?
Jenna: When has it not worked?!

Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick's Day. Is nothing sacred anymore?