[on Geiss] We'd sit on his veranda talking about politics, business, how not to get paper cuts when making love on a pile of money.

Peacocks can live up to 40 years. Longer if they're not part of Mike Tyson's zoo.

Liz: I'm not gonna let this dress win. This morning I joined-
Jack: A suicide cult.
Liz: A gym.

Honestly, these immigrants have a tough life, no health care, and I kind of just thought he'd die before it became a thing.

In my defense, every April 22nd I honor Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions.

Avery: Sure, people in this restaurant might think you're my dad -
Jack: Or that you're my prostitute.

As my good friend and fox hunting partner Mary J. Blige would say 'No more drama.'

Typical liberal media. That's why I get all my news from Dick Cheney's web site, DickViews.com.

A female page? Don't worry, they disappear all the time.

I wasn't fishing, but thanks.

My guess is that this was done by Frank, the black one, and Lutz.

The New York Times doesn't have a reporter named Seymour Nips.

30 Rock Quotes

I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.

Liz

[on Liz] Regular six, drunk seven.

Agent