I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club. Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice. But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.

Tracy: Hey! What was that sound? It was opportunity knocking.
Jack: No one knocked, you just barged in.

That is actually MY thoughtful window staring place. Visitors can go over here.

Don't worry about getting to your point. I am going to live forever.

"I'm been a G.E. man for 30 years. And a G.E woman for one week of corporate espionage on Revlon."

Liz: I always forget you used to be poor.
Jack: Thank you.

Jack: Those jeans make you look like a Mexican sports reporter.
Liz: Thank you Jack.

She's got just the right amount of D.I.H.C. for me. I hear it and I don't care.

He owns the world's only giraffe basketball team, the New York Necks.

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