[on Geiss] We'd sit on his veranda talking about politics, business, how not to get paper cuts when making love on a pile of money.

Peacocks can live up to 40 years. Longer if they're not part of Mike Tyson's zoo.

Liz: I'm not gonna let this dress win. This morning I joined-
Jack: A suicide cult.
Liz: A gym.

Honestly, these immigrants have a tough life, no health care, and I kind of just thought he'd die before it became a thing.

In my defense, every April 22nd I honor Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions.

Avery: Sure, people in this restaurant might think you're my dad -
Jack: Or that you're my prostitute.

As my good friend and fox hunting partner Mary J. Blige would say 'No more drama.'

Typical liberal media. That's why I get all my news from Dick Cheney's web site, DickViews.com.

A female page? Don't worry, they disappear all the time.

I wasn't fishing, but thanks.

My guess is that this was done by Frank, the black one, and Lutz.

The New York Times doesn't have a reporter named Seymour Nips.

30 Rock Quotes

Fine, I will try the other location. But frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful.

Kenneth

I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club. Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice. But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.

Jack