You kept trying to order home massages off of Craigslist.

You watched it for an hour, said Nicole Kidman should get an Oscar for it then shut it off.

Liz: I will spend half the day in twilight sleep and then I will go home to watch the Lifetime movie 'My Stepson Is My Cyber-Husband.'
Jack: That's inspired. You truly are the Picasso of loneliness.

[on his speed dial rankings] Blackberry Warren Buffett, iPhone Jimmy Buffett.

Avery: I have a thing for commanding salt and pepper types. I don't know why. I think it started when I walked in on my parents the day Reagan was shot.
Jack: I wouldn't over-analyze that.

Mothers. You can't kill them...

Jack: She's done a complete 180.
Jenna: Even better, Jack. She made a full 360!

The imaginary enemy. Classic move, Lemon. The Salem Witch Trials, the Red scare, global warming.

What keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred for the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.

What, you're not using an office replication service while you're here?

Liz: Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy.
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever heard.

Jonathan, why do I have an Indian assistant if my computer is always...

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 384 in total

30 Rock Quotes

I tracked him down to an address in Brooklyn. He's on LinkedIn, Lemon. He might as well be dead.

Jack

Television on! Pornography!

Tracy
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