Jack Donaghy Quotes
Jack: Are you familiar with Six Sigma?
Frank: Oh, yeah. It's a special kinda G.I. Joe.
Jack: It's Frank, right?
Frank: Yes, sir.
Jack: Six Sigma says that a manager must understand every aspect of the business that he or she oversees.
Liz: Which means?
Jack: I'll be here everyday. Soaking it up.
Jack: So, I was doing some research on comedy and I came across the cartoon strip Dilbert. It's quite good. And I was wondering if we could do that.
Liz: Do what?
Jack: Dilbert.
Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.
Jack: Poker night? How many play?
Liz: Oh, you're not going to come to our crappy poker night, are you?
Jack: No, I'm not going to come.
Liz: [relieved] Good!
Jack: I bluffed. I am coming.
You are a puzzle, Kenneth Ellen, and I'm going to solve you. Yes I am.
Liz: Well it was nice of you to let him keep his job.
Jack: The Italians have a saying, Lemon. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct. In five years we'll all either be working for him... or dead by his hand.
Liz: Mr. Donaghy, I sincerely apologize; I'm so embarrassed.
Jack: Well, I guess you must be embarrassed if you're hiding in the storage closet.
Liz: This is my office.
Liz: Where's Gary?
Jack: Gary's dead. I'm Jack Donaghy. New VP of development for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart.
Pete: Oh, we own Kmart now?
Jack: No. Why are you dressed like we do?
Jack: Alfredo. 2 p.m.
Liz: I'm not dressed for that.
Jack: You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?
Jack: He is not your friend, he's your opponent. He's going to try to grab all the marbles and it's our job to hide them.
Liz: That's not how you play marbles, Jack.
Jack: But that's how you keep them.
Good lord! The worm ... that's so degrading. Are its origins German?
The crab is getting aroused. Shut it down. Shut it down!
