Jack: He is not your friend, he's your opponent. He's going to try to grab all the marbles and it's our job to hide them.
Liz: That's not how you play marbles, Jack.
Jack: But that's how you keep them.

Good lord! The worm ... that's so degrading. Are its origins German?

The crab is getting aroused. Shut it down. Shut it down!

Jack: Lemon, I would like to teach you something. I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap.
Liz: No, Jack. I don't want to learn about negotiation. I just want Josh to stay. The show needs him.
Jack: Lesson number one: you don't need anyone. Sure, Josh tests well with female viewers 12 to 24, which is important to advertisers because young women will buy just about anything.

This ought to prove my mother wrong, saying Donaghy is Gaelic for failure. What the hell does she know, she's a Murphy; Bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists.

Jack: Steven's good, man, he's on partner track at Dewey and he's a Black.
Liz: A black!? That's offensive.
Jack: No, no. That's his name. Steven Black... good family. Remarkable people, the Blacks, musical, very athletic, not very good swimmers. Again I'm talking about the family. Black is African-American, though.
Liz: Well I don't care about that.

Now as you may have read in Robert Parker's wine newsletter, "Donaghy Estates tastes like Satan's urine after a hefty portion of asparagus."

Ridikolus: What color plane are you want to buy?
Jack: Clear... like Wonder Woman's.

Jack: Don't be ridiculous.
Ridikolus: I am Ridikolus.

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