30 Rock

Jack Donaghy Quotes (Page 38)

Jack: Lemon, I need your help.
Liz: Really, Jack Donaghy needs my...
Jack: Don't gloat, it makes you seem man-ish.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Liz: ... Any dumb-dumb can act, Jack, so be a man and get it done.
Jack: If you were any other woman on Earth, I would be turned on right now.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or 'POS-MENS' of GE products into your program. For example you could write an episode where one of your character purchases, and is satisfied with one of GE's direct current drilling motors for off-shore or land-based projects.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: Are you familiar with Six Sigma?
Frank: Oh, yeah. It's a special kinda G.I. Joe.
Jack: It's Frank, right?
Frank: Yes, sir.
Jack: Six Sigma says that a manager must understand every aspect of the business that he or she oversees.
Liz: Which means?
Jack: I'll be here everyday. Soaking it up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: So, I was doing some research on comedy and I came across the cartoon strip Dilbert. It's quite good. And I was wondering if we could do that.
Liz: Do what?
Jack: Dilbert.
 • Rating: Unrated

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: Poker night? How many play?
Liz: Oh, you're not going to come to our crappy poker night, are you?
Jack: No, I'm not going to come.
Liz: [relieved] Good!
Jack: I bluffed. I am coming.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: You are a puzzle, Kenneth Ellen, and I'm going to solve you. Yes I am.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz: Well it was nice of you to let him keep his job.
Jack: The Italians have a saying, Lemon. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct. In five years we'll all either be working for him... or dead by his hand.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz: Mr. Donaghy, I sincerely apologize; I'm so embarrassed.
Jack: Well, I guess you must be embarrassed if you're hiding in the storage closet.
Liz: This is my office.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!