I used to be a winner. Men wanted to be me. Women wanted to sleep with me. Bisexuals wanted to watch.

It's the ultimate game...Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It's a Jack-off.

Are you being coached? Is it Pat Reilly? Tell him the fun-meister says hi. He'll know what that means.

Jack: Our new slogan, NBC: We have a magical horse, is testing...okay.

Criss: I don't understand your relationship with Liz...
Jack: She's my subordifriend.

Banks: NBC is the Titanic.
Jack: The highest grossing movie of all time?

Is it a stupid name like Dakota or Barack?

Next week Jay-Z was going to do a duet with one of the spinning chairs from The Voice, and the chair just pulled out.

Maybe we could make even more money by pretending to be nice. I mean, look at Betty White.

This thing's a real cash cow, unlike Cash Cow, the NBC spinoff of Cash Cab. You try riding a cow through midtown Manhattan, Lemon. The animal will panic.

I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

Avery: I don't know why our daughter would be afraid of Reagan.
Jack: Are you accusing me of not doing enough Reagan time with her?

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 384 in total

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30 Rock Quotes

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

Jack

Jack: You've been avoiding me, Lemon.
Liz: How do you do that without turning around?
Jack: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but... here we are.

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