Tracy: So GE will produce the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine?Jack: Oh no, no. GE could never make something so... unique. We'll have to pass this off to one of our subsidiaries. You see, GE owns KitchenAll of Colorado, which in turn owns JMI of Stamford which is a majority shareholder of Pokerfastlane.com which recently acquired the Sheinhardt Wig Company which owns NBC outright. NBC owns Winnipeg Iron Works which owns the AHP Chanagi Party Meats company of Pyongyang, North Korea... and they will make the Meat Machine.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Liz: What's going on, business got ya down?
Jack: Business doesn't get me down, business gets me off.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack: Tracy's feeling a lot better now. He's under a doctor's care.
Conan: That's what they said about Hasselhoff, then he tried to make out with me during a commercial break.
Jack: Conan, this is important to me. So, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way.
Conan: What's the hard way?
Jack: You do a live Christmas Eve special from Kabul every year until the War on Terror is won.
Conan: Tell Tracy I'll see him tonight, you Black Irish bastard.
Jack: Back at you, red.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack: Conan, Tracy's really excited to be back on your show.
Conan: I don't know. He's kind of a loose cannon, and I like to surround myself with people who don't try to stab me.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Liz: Okay, very funny. You bought a pager from Dennis. Will you take it off now, please?
Jack: Oh, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Dennis: You know there are 17 million rats per person in Manhattan. You eat a pound of rat crap every year without even knowing it, huh?
Jack: I think I read about that in The New Yorker... Um, anyway, we'll leave you two to your meal. I hope you enjoy the choices that you've made.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack: That's a sharp tie you've got there, Dennis.
Dennis: That douchebag up front made me wear it.
Jack: Does he know you're the Beeper King?
Dennis: I don't think so.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack: All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or 'POS-MENS' of GE products into your program. For example you could write an episode where one of your character purchases, and is satisfied with one of GE's direct current drilling motors for off-shore or land-based projects.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 191
