Jack: You also know Jack Donaghy always wins, or have you forgotten the time we played Battleship? Remember A-8?
Devon Banks: You peeked!

Colleen: My father did not kill dozens of Germans so that his daughter could die in a van.
Jack: But he wasn't even in the war.

As long as she's in New York, I'm doing absolutely nothing. I got the idea from watching your President Obama the last four years.

The woman's constant disapproval of me will keep her alive...forever.

I coined the phrase "You wish, pal!"

I brought you back from the dead, and revived your career.

Liz: How do you sleep at night, Jack?
Jack: I don't. I take thousands of micro-naps during the day.

Let me tell you who we have. Craig T. Nelson, Chuck Norris, and Charlton Heston's skull. You'd be the only cool Republican.

She's aging, mean, and rich. That sounds Republican to me.

We have to spend all of our wonderful money and help my hair mentor Mitt Romney become the 11th legitimate President of the United States.

A room full of rich people can...change the world.

I needed to unite the room around a common enemy and Ed Begley Jr. wasn't available because the sail on his car broke.