Peter: Dogs can sense evil.
Jared: I think that's earthquakes, Buddy.

• Permalink: Dogs can sense evil. I think that's earthquakes, Buddy.
• Added: July 10, 2013

Not hitting people's why I became a lawyer.

• Permalink: Not hitting people's why I became a lawyer.
• Added: July 03, 2013

Rachel and your mom making out is one of the hottest things ever.

• Permalink: Rachel and your mom making out is one of the hottest things ever...
• Added: June 26, 2013

He's objecting to love?

• Permalink: He's objecting to love?
• Added: June 26, 2013

Peter: You are so going to marry her.
Jared: I know.

• Permalink: You are so going to marry her. I know.
• Added: June 26, 2013

Text haiku was ahead of its time.

• Permalink: Text haiku was ahead of its time.
• Added: June 26, 2013

Rachel: What kind of monster to you think I am?
Jared: Shape shifter.
Peter: Swamp demon.

• Permalink: What kind of monster to you think I am? Shape shifter. Swa...
• Added: June 26, 2013

Peter: Look at you doing the walk of shame here at the office.
Jared: Not walk of shame. Walk of glory.

• Permalink: Look at you doing the walk of shame here at the office. Not w...
• Added: June 26, 2013

In this light with your guard down, you almost look human.

• Permalink: In this light with your guard down, you almost look human.
• Added: June 26, 2013

Jared: Have we mentioned that our client is a war veteran, your Honor?
Judge: Eleven times.

• Permalink: Have we mentioned that our client is a war veteran, your Honor? ...
• Added: June 19, 2013

Don: I'm not in any position to say no.
Jared: Damn right. You're a dead man.

• Permalink: I'm not in any position to say no. Damn right. You're a dead ...
• Added: June 19, 2013

Jared: My feet are sticking to the floor.
Peter: That's good party traction.

• Permalink: My feet are sticking to the floor. That's good party traction...
• Added: June 19, 2013