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Peter: I can't believe you play basketball.
Jared: I can't believe you get facials.

Pindi can't take an escalator alone.

Peter: I've got eight pounds of meat.
Jared: Too easy.

Jared: He's whack job but in a good way.
Peter: Whack job's need lawyers too.

Jared: You know what she made you?
Peter: Her bitch?

This is the weirdest courtship I've ever seen. Just like Animal Planet. Are you going to bite her?

Peter: She might have anger issues.
Jared: If she doesn't, she will now.

We love going to court. We've seen In Justice For All about ten times.

Judge: I've cleared the courtroom and I have my special contempt of the court pen at the ready, gentlemen.
Jared: I hate that pen.

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