Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Gloria: Where I come from, brothers respect each other.
Jay: That's why Colombia is such a peaceful country.

I'm gonna walk like a man... right to that bar. That would be hilarious if you were familiar with Frankie Valli.

Manny: Hump day, am I right, Jay?
Jay: Your day ends at 2:30.

I was drunk, I'm not going shopping with Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

Manny: I made a reference to The Wiggles and it went right over her head.
Jay: I don't know what that means.
Manny: It's an expression. It means she didn't get it.

Gloria: Tell them we don't want our bodies inside these drawers where God cannot find us.
Jay: These aren't like our drawers at home. People can find stuff here.

There's enough not to like about death without adding dirt and worms.

Manny: Jay, haven't you noticed the spring in my step?
Jay: Oh, kids say cruel things, that doesn't mean you'll turn out that way.
Manny: No, we have something in common. I'm seeing a younger woman.

You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.

Manny: Baby Bear's a girl? We have to do it over! I would have played it totally different.
Jay: You nailed it.

Five course dinner waiting for us at home and she's strapping on the feedbag at Ibiza.

There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 201 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

I get that Thanksgiving is an big day for families that don't see each other, but we're together nonstop.

Jay