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There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works.

Two thirds of my house can't do what a billion Chinese do.

Stephen Hawking could ride that bike.

Pretty soon you get some hair on your chest, you start answering the phone, and people don't think you're ladies.

Jay: Flag on the play.
Manny: What does that mean?!?

You'd think growing up in a place full of death squads and drunken uncles, she'd have learned to move a little bit faster.

I'm just saying you were never much of a kid. And that's a good thing 'cause I never liked kids.

Manny: Where did I hear that siren?
Jay: That was your mother screaming.
Gloria: I wasn't that bad.
Jay: Cars were pulling over.

Jay: We finish each other's sentences. Like, tonight we are going to... Gloria: Have so much fun!

This whole thing is a colossal fog cue.

Gloria: I took him to a farm where he has plenty of room to run.
Jay: That's the second thing they say when something's dead.

I don't get how one dog keeps you awake when you grew up sleeping through cockfights and revolutions.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 190 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

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