Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

Nice robe, like Hef back in the day. I'm gonna cut to the chase. I like your lifestyle, I want a taste of it.

Hey luxury bathroom, it's me lowly closet. Watch your back.

You know what a lot of girls don't do? Guys who take ceramics.

Trust me, when I get done talking to her not only will she have confessed to the crime, I might even sell her a closet.

Gloria: Some people you turn your back for one second and they have another family from the bad side of town.
Jay: You ARE my other family from the bad side of town.

Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!

Jay: I’m waiting for a phone call from my doctor’s office. Please rate your prostate exam. Would you say you were satisfied?
Gloria: I hope you weren’t!

Jay: Hi hunnie.
Gloria: I got in trouble.
Jay: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.

I think I’m recording the game but you can never know. The last time I got 6 hours of Bravo.

Jay: Why do you look like that when I look like this?
Manny: My friends say it’s because of your money.

I'm fine, he's only one. I watched him pee into his own face and smile.

Jay: Trees are like women, the best ones make you work just a little bit harder.
Manny: She’s just not that into you.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 194 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny
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