Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Sometimes the best thing to do in a race to the top is grease the pole behind you.

This is a lot of hocus pocus, I can't believe I bought a coffee cake over this!!!

Hey what do you say we cut our losses? Let's go out to a nice Chinese restaurant and have a traditional Jewish Christmas.

Cam: Why so much tape Jay?
Jay: Why are you wearing a sweater when it's 95 degrees out?
Cam: It's my Christmas sweater!
Jay: Based on those stains, you are the Christmas sweater.

You two needed time with your mom, I've already served time with your mom.

Jay: If you told him the truth he'd thank you later.
Gloria: Like Claire and Mitch, did they thank you?
Jay: Not yet, but it's coming.

The pain must've been bad if I accepted Phil's help.

I can't take another farm story.

Gloria: I cannot believe he spent 50 dollars on this.
Jay: I know! He could've gotten a two-year subscription to Playboy for that.

Think about it, 14-year-old boy, talks about girls all day long. We have more security on these computers than the Pentagon. What do you think he's doing up there?

Manny: I guess I'm too proud to ask for help.
Jay: Are you kidding? She still cuts your steak.

Jay: He wants more wow. What does that even mean?
Manny: It's the Bieberization of America.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 190 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron
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