Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Do you know how much walking you have to do at Disneyland? Why do you think they have so many fat people on scooters?

What do you say? Anybody up for a hobo adventure?

Manny: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of amenities disappear when an H turns into an M!
Jay: Hey when I met you, you were eating cereal out of a bucket.

How do I say this without sounding like an ass? I'm kind of a legend to these guys.

Jay: I don't know what they do in Columbia.
Gloria: No one does and don't ask.

First of all, that lady is my son.

Remember that time I told you I couldn't make your figure skating competition because I was stuck at work? By stuck I meant drunk and by work I meant the golf course!

Isn't it enough this family spends a lot of time together? Now we have to inbreed?

Stop acting like I'm some staunchy old coot! I've grown.

I can't express to you how badly this kid needs football.

You came out of the womb like that. I'm not entirely sure there wasn't a twin in there that you bumped off.

Sometimes the best thing to do in a race to the top is grease the pole behind you.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 201 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

I get that Thanksgiving is an big day for families that don't see each other, but we're together nonstop.

Jay