J.D. comes in, in pain
Keith: You ok, Dr. Dorian?
J.D.: Keith, it's like you're begging me to hate you.
Keith: I don't feel like I am.
J.D.: You can't stop, can you?

Once when we were dating, Elliot asked me to urinate on her!

Elliot: J.D., I really don't wanna do this. Can't we just go home, and put on our PJs and watch "Grey's Anatomy"?
J.D.: Oh, I do love that show. It's like they've been watching our lives and just... put it on TV.

J.D.: I wasn't saying you smelled like my Mom, I was saying you smelled like my-mum. It's an exotic flower indigenous to the hills of Costa Rica.
Julie: God, I feel so stupid.
J.D.: Hugsies.
J.D.'s narration: (While hugging Julie) Ohhhh, mommy.

J.D.: I know, I haven't hit it in awhile but there's good reason for that.
Dr. Cox: Two good reasons: his face and his personality.

J.D.: By the way, Julie's here but I'm not going to kiss and tell.
Elliot: Oh really? Cause I just got your text that said "bone city".
J.D.: Oh really? That came through?

Fine. I may have told her that she smells like my Mom. Which, by the way, I still maintain as a compliment.

Why would Julie just take off like that? I bet my body intimidated her. That's it! I'm selling that Bowflex on Craig's List.

All right Mrs. Nickels, your new hip is on the house 'cause this girl is smoking!

Elliot: You know, I actually like Julie. So, don't do that thing you always do.
J.D.: If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with Turk anymore.
(Later)
Turk: Behind your ear.
J.D.: (Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear) My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell Elliot we're still playing.

Julie gets up to leave, drops her water in Elliot's spaghetti, hits Elliot in the back of the head with her purse, then hits her face with the napkin container
Julie: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I am so sorry!
Elliot: Oh no, it happens.
J.D.: It does, it happens.

J.D.: How did you know I'd move too fast with Julie?
Elliot: Because I know you!
Dr. Cox: How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?
Carla: Because I know you!
Turk: How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?
Janitor: Because I know him!
Todd: (Watching in the security cameras) Wow! This is so cool!

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 1681 in total

Scrubs Quotes

I think there's a tchotchke in my bum.

Julie

Lonnie: Thanks for that.
Jordan: Keep movin', fetus face.

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