"El Toro Grande"? I'm not familiar with this brand.
Once when we were dating, Elliot asked me to urinate on her!
In J.D.'s room
Janitor: I come by here a couple times a week and move stuff around. Turn off his alarm. Maybe cut his bangs.
Dr. Cox: You're clearly in need of help but darn it, I'm not gonna give it to you. How sound a sleeper do you think he is?
Janitor: Well, watch this.
Janitor hits the bed and J.D. sits up then lies down again
J.D.: Sticks and stones may break my bones...
J.D.'s Narration: ...but words will hurt forever.
Stay away from my girlfriend, Elliot! And stay away from my J.D. wigs!
Why would Julie just take off like that? I bet my body intimidated her. That's it! I'm selling that Bowflex on Craig's List.
Julie gets up to leave, drops her water in Elliot's spaghetti, hits Elliot in the back of the head with her purse, then hits her face with the napkin container
Julie: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I am so sorry!
Elliot: Oh no, it happens.
J.D.: It does, it happens.
E.liot: Yeah, I'm sure you said something that sucked the romance out of the moment. You used to do that all the time when we were dating.
J.D.: Like when?
(Flashback to J.D. and Elliot in bed)
J.D.: Are you getting thicker, you feel thicker?
J.D.: I wasn't saying you smelled like my Mom, I was saying you smelled like my-mum. It's an exotic flower indigenous to the hills of Costa Rica.
Julie: God, I feel so stupid.
J.D.'s narration: (While hugging Julie) Ohhhh, mommy.
Elliot: You know, I actually like Julie. So, don't do that thing you always do.
J.D.: If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with Turk anymore.
Turk: Behind your ear.
J.D.: (Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear) My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell Elliot we're still playing.
Elliot: Don't go to quickly, or like I said, you'll just end up with another beautiful girl.
J.D.: Dating my laptop.
Elliot: Dating your laptop. Thank you.
Elliot: So I guess your date sucked, huh?
J.D.: HA! Why don't you ask her if our date sucked? She's in my room.
Elliot: Twenty bucks says you blow it in less than five minutes.
J.D.: Unlikely. 'Cause what's waiting for me in my room is what's known in football terms as a slam dunk. (Pantomiming a tennis racket swing)
Elliot: One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.
Julie: It's soooo late, I have to get going. I have a dog and a fish. I have to walk them and feed them and stuff. I'm Julie. Hi.
Elliot: I was Elliot. (To J.D.) Twenty bucks, pleeeease.