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I've spent almost four years here, growing and changing and making dioramas.

Abed, we don't have origin stories, we have lives. At least...yup, just me.

Dean Pelton: Which is to say that having Jeffrey inside of me-
Jeff: No one was inside of anyone!
Dean Pelton: -was wrong. To have Jeffrey inside of me.

Shirley: Is this a bad time?
Dean Pelton (speaking as Jeff): I'm at Greendale, stuck in the body of a man who could be Gollum, so yeah, I'd say it's half past suck.

Maintenance Guy: Sorry, routine light switch check.
Jeff: That is not a thing!

Pierce: What do you want me to do?
Jeff: Stay alive...or don't!
Pierce: I'm on it!

Holy makes-complete-sense-at-this-school!

Britta: So you just left your section blank.
Jeff: No, of course not! I copied and pasted the lyrics to "War (What Is It Good For)."

Jeff: It's Macallan 18. I like to serve it neat, if that's okay with you.
Professor Cornwallis: What, in America? Don't you mix it with cherry pop or Monterey Jack cheese?

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