Popular Jenna Maroney Quotes
Guy: Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Liz: [sighs] Really dude? I got to move my coat? There are like 4 empty seats over there - can't you just be cool?
[guy leaves]
Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink!
Liz: Really? But I already have a drink... do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
Jenna: Hey, I've gotta miss an hour of rehearsal today 'cause I just found out from my publicist that I've been booked on The View.
Pete: Oh, Jenna, that's great. For the first time in your life, you'll be in a room full of women and you'll be the least crazy one.
Jenna: Yeah, I know!
Liz: You've already made up your mind about this, haven't you?
Jenna: Oh, you're right, Liz! I should go for it!
Liz: You're not even listening, are you? Poop. Monkey butt.
Jenna: No, you're a good friend and thank you.
Second of all, if the president is so serious about the war on terror, why doesn't he hunt down and capture Barack Obama before he strikes again?
Jenna
Jenna: I'm on a crash diet to get back to my old weight by Friday.
Liz: Well, what diet is going to do that?
Jenna: Oh, it's the Japanese porn star diet. I only eat paper, but I can eat all the paper I want, so...
Jenna: Steven played the race card. What did you do?
Liz: What could I do? I picked up the check and made out with him a little bit in the taxi.
Liz: Wow, this is an... honor. I have a friend who is number four on Maxim's list of "The Sexiest Women in Comedy."
Jenna: Thanks. At first I was mad that Jessica Simpson was ahead of me, but then I saw The Dukes of Hazzard. Funny!
Jenna: Liz, I'm just worried that I'm going to sound like I don't know what I'm talking about.
Liz: Would Sharon Stone worry about that?
Liz: Why did you tell the reporter that you hate the troops?
Jenna: What? I didn't say I hate the troops.
Jenna: Okay, that was beyond insulting. The guy doesn't even know my name. Why do you love him so much?
Liz: No, no, no, no, no. I don't love him, Donaghy loves him. That's it. Pete can't stand him, Toofer thinks he's an idiot, even Cerie says he's a pig.
Jenna: Frank likes his movies.
Liz: Yeah, Frank also loves that video of the monkey smelling his own butt ... Nobody wants Tracy Jordan here, except for certified non-genius Jack Donaghy.
Jenna: Yeah, but this is different because I know Jack Donaghy. I know what he likes.
Liz: Yeah. So now you just have to make yourself 10 years younger and Asian.
Liz: How you doin'?
Jenna: There is no way that I am working with that guy. Do you know that he once got arrested for walking naked through LaGuardia?
Liz: Yeah.
Jenna: And that he once fell asleep on Ted Danson's roof?
Liz: Yeah, Tracy has mental health issues.
Jenna: He bit Dakota Fanning on the face.
Liz: When you hear his version, she was kinda askin' for it.
