Jack: You being dead is the best thing that ever happened to this movie. Jenna, I wanna Tupac you.
Jenna: Fine, but I have to pee first!
Jack: No. No, no, no, no. Tupac Shakur, the rapper. He sold ten times more albums when he was dead than when he was alive; that's what we're going to do with this movie.

You know how you told Tracy not to go into your bedroom? Well, naturally, we assumed you were a serial killer, and as you can imagine, your bird is dead.

[to Liz] You were trying to be an actress then. Despite your neck.

Kenneth: But why would you want to cut your hair? You look exactly as I imagine Mary Magadalene to be.
Jenna: Thank you, but I am a selfless person who can't get arrested in this town!
Pete: I already explained that: that was a police sketch of a flasher who happened to look like Tracy... we hope.

Liz: That's what I could do to Drew.
Jenna: Drug him? Liz, no. Having been on both sides of that, I could tell you it's not a good idea.
Liz: No, I'm going to tell Drew that I'm having a little welcome to the building party for him but there is no party and then when he shows up I'll laugh and say 'oh it's the wrong night' and then he'll laugh and say one glass couldn't hurt and then I'll put my mouth on his mouth.

Jenna: We decided we'd get them all hot soup.
Tracy: So... go do that.
Kenneth: Oh, all the other pages have gone home sick, I can't make any runs right now. Maybe the two of you could go get the soup.
[long pause]
Jenna: I don't understand.

Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, Ms. Maroney. You wanted to see me?
Jenna: Kenneth, Tracy and I want to do something for the crew, you know, to thank them for being sick.
Tracy: We didn't know what to get them, but then I had a brain storm. It was a bad one, Jenna had to put my tongue guard in.

Look at you and me and our biological clocks. You're baby crazy, and I'm turned on by car accidents.

Oh, Liz. Look at you and I and our biological clocks. You're baby crazy and I keep getting turned on by car accidents.

Displaying quotes 136 - 144 of 160 in total