Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
Jerry: We'll have to take your car, it's got the most room.
Kramer: No, no. My car's not running.
(George comes out from the bathroom)
Jerry: What about your father's car?
George: No, no, no. Out of the question. I was over there today. He's got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood. I know he's not gonna wanna move.
Jerry: Are you serious?
George: You don't know what that spot means to him. Once he gets it, he doesn't go out for weeks.
- Permalink: We'll have to take your car, it's got the most room. No, no. M...
The "B" is gone, but the "O" is still there!
- Permalink: The B is gone, but the O is still there!
Kramer: What happened?
Jerry: What happened? My car "stinks" is what happened. And it's destroying the lives of everyone in its path.
- Permalink: What happened? What happened? My car stinks is what happened. ...
Susan: (pounding on Kramer's door) Kramer! Kramer!
Jerry: What's that? What's going on?
Susan: Kramer, open up, I know you're in there!
Jerry: What is going on?
Susan: You know what's going on? First, he vomits on me! Then, he burns down my father's cabin! And now, he's taken Mona away from me!
- Permalink: Kramer! Kramer! What's that? What's going on? Kramer, open u...
(referring to the car) ThisTHINGhas got to be stopped!
- Permalink: ThisTHINGhas got to be stopped!
Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.
- Permalink: Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man w...
Elaine: When you're with a guy, and he tells you he has to get up early, what does that mean?
Jerry: It means he's lying.
- Permalink: When you're with a guy, and he tells you he has to get up early,...
George: So, let me ask you. Do you think I did this?
Jerry: No, no. It's the valet guy.
George: No, no, I mean, driving Susan to lesbianism.
Jerry: Oh no, that's ridiculous.
George: What if her experience with me drive ger to it?
Jerry: Suicide, maybe, not lesbianism.
- Permalink: So, let me ask you. Do you think I did this? No, no. It's the ...
Kramer: You "stink." Why don't you go take a shower?
Jerry: I showered! Oh, wait a second. Since I showered, I've been in the car.
Jerry: Don't you see what's happening here? It's attached itself to me! It's alive!
- Permalink: You stink. Why don't you go take a shower? I showered! Oh, wai...