Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
(to Elaine) I opened the car door this morning; it was like a punch in the face! It was almost as if the smell GAINED strength overnight.
The "B" is gone, but the "O" is still there!
Jerry: Hey, I've never smelled in my life, buddy.
Restaurateur: Really? Well, I can smell you now.
Jerry: That's from the car!
(The car has been washed, but Jerry realizes that the smell is still there)
Jerry: Wait a minute! It still smells! It still smells!
(Cut to Carl's apartment, where he smells Elaine's hair)
Carl: It still smells.
George: So, let me ask you. Do you think I did this?
Jerry: No, no. It's the valet guy.
George: No, no, I mean, driving Susan to lesbianism.
Jerry: Oh no, that's ridiculous.
George: What if her experience with me drive ger to it?
Jerry: Suicide, maybe, not lesbianism.
(referring to the car) ThisTHINGhas got to be stopped!
Elaine: When you're with a guy, and he tells you he has to get up early, what does that mean?
Jerry: It means he's lying.
Manager: What do you mean-- "stunk up?"
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Someone stole the video right out of the car!
Jerry: Someone stole Rochelle, Rochelle?
Restaurateur: Well, you left the window open.
Jerry: We had to air out the car.
Jerry: It still smells.
George: How could it still smell after all that?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: Well, what are you gonna do?
Jerry: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, I'm selling that car.
George: You're selling the car?
Jerry: You don't understand what I'm up against. This is a force more powerful than anything you can imagine! Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench! And I'll take anything I can get for it.
George: Maybe I'll buy it.
Jerry: Are you crazy? Don't you understand what I'm saying to you? This isn't just an odor! You need a priest to get rid of this thing!
(Elaine comes in)
Elaine: I still smell.
Jerry: You see? You see what I'm saying to you? It's a presence! It's the beast!
Jerry: You've gotta smell the car.
Restaurateur: I'm a busy man.
Jerry: Come on, one whiff.
Restaurateur: Oh, all right, one whiff.
(In the next scene, Jerry and George have the restaurateur locked inside the car, and he realizes that it stinks)
Restaurateur: All right, I give up! I admit it, it stinks! Now, could you let me out?!
Jerry: Yeah. Yeah, you'll pay for the cleaning?
Restaurateur: Yes, $50! I'll give you $50!
Jerry: $50? I don't think that's gonna cover it.
Restaurateur: Whatever you want! I'll give you whatever you want!
Jerry: I want half, 125!
Restaurateur: Yes, yes, 125 is good! Now, would you please just open the door?!
(Jerry opens the door and lets him out)
Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?
Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.
Jerry: What is it?
Elaine: I think it's B.O.
Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must've had B.O.
Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has B.O. like this.
Elaine: Jerry, it's B.O.
Jerry: But the whole car smells.
Jerry: So, when somebody has B.O., the O usually stays with the B. Once the B leaves, the O goes with it.