Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 4)

Dolores: Oh, Jerry.
Jerry: Oh...you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (guessing his girlfriend's name) Mulva?
 • Rating: Unrated

George: "Interest" - it's an amazing thing, you make money by doing nothing.
Jerry: I have some friends who base their lives on that very principal.
George: Really? Who?
Jerry: No one you know.
 • Rating: Unrated

(George is intently watching "Home Alone")
Elaine: What's with him?
Jerry: You know, a lot of people have asked that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Did you hear that Jerry? He couldn't eat for weeks!
Jerry: (uncaring) That's terrible...
 • Rating: Unrated

(Jerry is in his apartment, obliviously relating the day's events to George.)
Jerry: Over the balcony, bounced off some respirator thing into the patient!
George: What do you mean "into the patient?"
Jerry: Into the patient, literally!
George: Into the hole?
Jerry: Yes, the hole!
George: Didn't they notice it?
Jerry: No!
George: How could they not notice it?!
Jerry: Because it's a little mint. It's a Junior Mint.
George: W-ca-What did they do?
Jerry: They sealed him up with the mint inside.
George: They left the Junior Mint in him?
Jerry: Yes!
George: I-I guess it can't hurt him. People eat pounds of those things.
Jerry: Yes, they eat them. They don't put them next to vital organs in their abdominal cavity!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -it's delicious!
Jerry: That's true.
Kramer: It's very refreshing!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: Produce section. Very provocative area. A lot of melons and shapes. Everyone's squeezing and smelling
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Y'know I remember when I was a kid growing up, kids would make fun of my name like you wouldn't believe - 'Jerry Jerry Dingleberry', 'Seinsmelled'
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Come on. Don't you think they seem a bit too perfect?Jerry: Yes they do!
 • Rating: Unrated

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