Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 46)

Kramer: How can you not have insurance?
Jerry: Because I spent my money on the Clapco 8000. It's the most powerful lock they make. It has only one design flaw...the door...MUST BE CLOSED!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Response when he realizes his answering machine was taken:
Jerry: I hate the thought of someone out there returning my calls.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: I'm human...
Jerry: In your way.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (giving house sitting instructions) One last thing, Benes. Regarding sexual activitystrictly prohibited, but, if you absolutely must, do us all a favor and do it in the tub.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: I said, "I know about the stuff," you know, so he'd take me into his confidence.
Elaine: What did he say?
Kramer: "What stuff?"
Jerry: Oh, case closed.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: (claps hands) That is the single greatest packing performance I have ever seen.
Jerry: I am the master packer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Excuse me, master packer!
Jerry: Yes.
Elaine: Just gimme your keys.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: The hot water takes a little while to come on. So, the best thing to do is to turn it on, do all your shopping, you come back and take a shower.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Two bedrooms? Why do I need two bedrooms? I got enough trouble maintaining activity in one.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: You should at least take a look at this place. You shouldn't have to live like this.
Jerry: Like this? You just said you wanted to live here.
Elaine: Well, for me it's a step up. It's like moving from Iceland to Finland.
 • Rating: Unrated

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