If you feel things getting sexual say, "shut it down!"

We're just covering our asses, while you're uncovering yours.

Jess: So you want us to come out so that you can go back to hooking up with all the hot teachers?
Coach: Very much so.

Winston: Live from New York, it's Coach's goodbye!
Jess: Show's over.
Winston: We ain't doing this?

Schmidt: I know this might seem crazy and probably a little bit impulsive, but it's not, not for me. I've known since the minute that I've met you.
Cece: Oh god, you're going to say something stupid, aren't you?
Schmidt: Girl, will you marry me?
Cece: Yes. Yes, yes, yes!
Jess: We're getting married!

OK, yes, she's a hot slob. Ever since she got boobs people stopped making her do stuff.

Why does he act like the Pope when he's happy?

Schmidt: Oh good lord! I'm marrying Nick.
Jess: Duh.

  • Permalink: Duh.
  • Rating: Unrated

Jury duty was quite simply the tops.

I do all her work and she does all the working of her cleavage.

This looks like an ad for a bong making company.

Oh my god, I'm going to be friends with a gas celebrity.

New Girl Quotes

Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.

I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.

Nick