Jess Day Quotes
Jess: I got laid off.
Nick: Are you serious?
I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.
Jess: I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen!
Schmidt: Excuse me? Do you think this has been easy? To wash myself wearing a penis cast all summer?
How's the new apartment? Does it smell like new paint and compromise?
What's wrong? You're stress-eating meat.
Paul is the all-time worst crier. It's like a slow motion sneeze.
Paul: Now I know what Bill Clinton feels like!
Jess: Now I know what Monica Lewinsky feels like!
Paul: I'm sorry I made you feel like Monica Lewinsky!
Jess: Nick put on some pants or at least some really high socks.
Nick: Really high socks it is then!
Sarah: Do you and my Dad ever dry-lump?
Sarah: Have you ever done a 99?
Jess: I think that's a tax form?
Sarah: Have you ever given anyone a plow job?
Jess: I don't know....do you want to learn how to play Bridge?
Sorry. I've never heard you talk about your ex wife, and I got really nervous, and I tried to flirt information out of you.
Actually, I don't trust what "cool" means to all of you, so how about just " be normal".
You've all thought about me while self-completing!?