Jess Day Quotes (Page 5)
Season 2, Episode 7: "Menzies"
Jess: No! PMS is mine! Stop stealing my stuff, Winston.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Jess: I was sabotaged by my baby box, which means I will never trust anything that comes out of it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: I feel like I wanna murder someone and also I want soft pretzels.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 5: "Models"
Jess: When I hear all the stuff about Cece's profession, like the dieting, it's crazy. And the butt-drinking...
Nick: Did you just say "butt-drinking?" You can't say "butt-drinking" and not explain what it is. That's two of my four favorite things.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Nick: In March, I will have been living with Schmidt for 10 years. I know that because he sent me an e-mail asking how I want to celebrate our tin anniversary.
Jess: How did you become friends? Was it an accident? Did you hit him with your car and you became his reluctant caretaker?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: What's going on? Did you guys watch porn together again? Why do you keep doing that? It's always awkward!
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Jess: I'm big in Japan — they call me Gigglebangs Riceball.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: It's your birthday, and you won't even eat cake!
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 4: "Neighbors"
Jess: At least I'm not 23, at least I own a trashcan, at least I can legally rent a car, at least I don't live in a loft with three...at least I live with you guys.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 3: "Fluffer"
Jess [to Nick]: I can't let you fluff me. I can't let you work in emotional porn! You have too much to offer.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 72