Shoshanna: Oh, wow. You look so whimsical-slash-beautiful.
Jessa: Thank you. I just bathed in the stream and then I ran through the field to dry myself.

You said you were leaving for 2 years! What were we supposed to do? Sit around flicking our clits till you got back?

Oh so this is how you guys really sound. I thought this was just mixed really badly.

Oh hey, I see you haven't back off on the self tanner.

You're pussying out on this whole thing. The thing that we're all trying to do which is make it work regardless of location, right where we are.

You can't go to Connecticut. You will die there.

BD I'm not gonna help you kill yourself. Really I can not keep having this discussion. The first day I thought it was colorful and cute, but now it's just getting bizarre.

Shoshanna: You look like a junkie.
Jessa: I am a junkie.

I'm not even attracted to you. I was wearing rehab goggles.

I learned a lot of great communications games in rehab.

Oh that's amazing. It's really hard for a jew to gain respect in sports.

This is a space cigarette invited by Stephen Dorff. It's just water vapor and good things like that.

Girls Quotes

Y'know, people hate me. I'm a hateable kind of person. I don't know why, I can't help it, maybe it's because I have a big ass and good hair but I know, I know that I have principles and one thing I don't do is steal people's boyfriends. But you ruin that. Don't you see that?! I'll never forgive you. I will NEVER forgive you for that. We could die in the same bed and I will never forgive you.


I was not rolling my eyes at you, I was looking up at a cloud formation that looked a lot like Blake Lively.