Hank: You wanna grab a bite to eat?
Jill: I only have 30 minutes 'til my next meeting.
Hank: We'll take big bites.

Jill: Guess you can be both.
Hank: Both?
Jill: Concierge doctor to the rich, and an on-call doctor to the rest of us. Robin Hood of medicine.
Hank: As long as no tights are involved.

Jill: Feel this. Silk. How much do you think this benefit costs?
Hank: I don't know. A lot?
Jill: Twice that. At least.

Tucker: (to Hank) Your date seems to be having a good time.
Hank: Oh, no...
Jill: Oh, this...
Hank: This is not a date.
Jill: It's not a date.
Tucker: Awww. (chuckles)
Libby: What do you kids call it these days?

(as Evan runs into Jill in the street)
Evan: Hey, don't I know you?
Jill: They just don't make pickup lines like they used to.
Evan: I have been labeled a progressive.

Jill: So you and your brother seem pretty different.
Hank: On a good day, very different.

(Hank runs into Jill in the street with gourmet coffee)
Hank: Is the, uh, hospital coffee really that bad?
Jill: Oh, officially speaking? No, it's delicious. But off the record...
Hank: You could remove nail polish with it.

Jill: Thanks again for helping out.
Hank: Hey, that's what friends who sleep together and then don't talk about it are for.

(Hank about to meet the people who fired him)
Jill: Just talk to them human being to human being.
Hank: I would, I'm just not sure they are human beings.

I'd rather take the heat for being with the right guy than play by the book with the wrong one.

Jill: So how does pizza and a shower sound?
Hank: Like the crust would get soggy.

Like Mr. Kliner. He was our biggest donor. He had plenty of money to throw a retirement party for a ballerina, but not enough to honor his pledge to the free clinic. And for the record, free clinics, they're not free. Big misnomer. They're expensive. Only you can't call them that or nobody would come.

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan