Favorite Jim Halpert Quotes
Michael: Tube city. You owe me one.
Jim: [interview] Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles I picked was Michael's idea of running plastic tubes all over the office with hamsters inside of them. He called it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.
Jim: You can't yell out "I need this, I need this" as you pin down an employee on your lap.
Michael: Okay. You know what Jim, there are two Santas in the room. Things get ruthless!
Michael: Do you understand you forced my hand.
Michael: Did you pee on a stick?
Jim: I did. It was inconclusive.
Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver?
Jim: It's... a crime-fighting beaver.
This is parkour. Internet sensation of 2004. And it was in one of the Bond films. It's pretty impressive. The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible so technically they are doing parkour, as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital.
Jim: Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?
Michael: What's updog?
Jim: Nothing much, what's up with you?
You've been shown a nonsensical video. You're probably wondering what's going on. Well, you're not alone.
Jim: Can't you do something about this?
Robert: Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim.
Toby: Hey Jim!
Jim: Not now Toby! My God!
Michael: Get the hell out of here, idiot.
Toby: [walking away] What did I do?
One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.
Everything I have I owe to this job...this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.
Dwight: Ding dong.
Jim: Who is it?
Jim: Alright. I just got out of the shower, I'll be one second.
Dwight: [in accent] When you are done, open the door. ... Hello in there?
Jim: Yeah, I'm late for work, so I have to brush my teeth, it's a whole routine.
Dwight: We have more houses to visit.
Jim: If you want to come back then, that'll be fine.
Dwight: We will come back at... how is [looks at watch] 4:45?
Jim: I get back from work around 6.
Dwight: How about 5:15?
Jim: You can try. That, that might work.
Dwight: Very well, we will come back at 5:15.