The Office

Jim Halpert Quotes (Page 13)

Jim: I tried to keep Michael in the dark. I should have realized he can do just as much damage in the dark.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I didn't tell Michael because I thought he'd try to help. Example: He handed out jello shots at the 23rd mile of the Steamtown Marathon.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: [talking loudly on cell phone] Uh huh, well if he doesn't like it, he can tell that SOB that he is fired. Sorry I'm going into a meeting right now. I love you too. Bye.
Jim: Who was that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: This is parkour. Internet sensation of 2004. And it was in one of the Bond films. It's pretty impressive. The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible so technically they are doing parkour, as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant.
Jim: Well with her being unmarried. Knocked up by some guy... The yackety yacks in this office would have a field day.
Pam: And we don't want them at the wedding thinking Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun.
Jim: Wait there's not going to be a shotgun?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Did you pee on a stick?
Jim: I did. It was inconclusive.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: The one true rumor ... and this it going to ruin this person's life, is that-
Jim: Pam's pregnant!
Kevin: I knew it! At first, I thought, 'Oh, Pam's breasts are a little bit bigger. She must have gotten a new bra with padding. But then I thought, Pam doesn't NEED padding.' It just didn't add up, Jim.
Jim: Okay. Thanks.
Dwight: Who's the father?
Pam: Jim.
Creed: Who's the OB-GYN?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: You gotta figure this out.
Andy: How?
Jim: Have sex with a woman.
Andy: Oh, yeah!
Jim: Then a man. Then compare.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: [on gay rumors] For the record I prefer women, but off the record, I'm kinda confused.
Jim: Really.
Andy: The evidences are stacked against me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: [on phone] Oh, Dwight, we're close! Just buy us a few more minutes... Well, they just called me in for an update, so I'll call you right back... Okay... Okay, great. [goes into a private room where Pam and the doctor are] Hey, Dwight, uh... send in the subs! Ohh!
 • Rating: Unrated

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