The Office

Jim Halpert Quotes (Page 23)

Dwight: What is this?
Jim: Happy Holidays, Dwight. But do not open it till Christmas.
Dwight: You're so pathetic. How long did this take you? Three hours?
Jim: Five minutes actually. I am a black belt in gift wrapping.
Dwight: Yeah, no such thing. They don't give out black belts for things that are stupid.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Okay.
Kevin: Michael, I got you a hot chocolate. I hope that's okay.
Michael: Oh, thank you my dear.
Kelly: Wait, Michael! Let me open the door for you.
Michael: Oh, well, chivalry is not dead after all. Okay...
Stanley: There he is!
Michael: There he is! Hello, hello!
Phyllis: Hello.
Michael: Hello! Good to see you! Good to see you.
Jim: Oh!
Michael: Mm! [gives Jim a high five] Yeah!
Pam: There's that ass!
Michael: Hey hey! Yeah! Unh!
Pam: Woo! Yeah. Aw, don't take it away!
Michael: Oh... ah, I almost choked.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: You might want to consider changing teams, because we would ... we would love to have you.
Pam: No, copier's great.
Jim: Yeah?
Pam: Yeah. I have my copies.
Jim: There they are.
Pam: And I have my original.
Jim: You got it.
Pam: So suck it.
Jim: Okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Meredith: Jim, good for you, standing up to Pam like that.
Creed: The balls on you, man.
Oscar: So Michael, what do you think?
Michael: Why me?
Jim: You have to make the decision.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Ever since Pam and I started dating, I just feel weird asking her to make copies for me. So, I make my own copies. And that copier sucks. Let me tell you, I-But you know what? Pam and I don't have to agree on everything.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I bought it. It's ours. Let's go inside, I'll show you inside. So if you can believe it I did it without a realtor. Saving on closing costs is good and, uh, we can put all the money to de-shag the carpet. Which I think will help, the color situation... Yeah, I am really sorry about this. I tried to move it but he is really nailed in there. Worried about art theft, I guess, lot of art thieves in this neighborhood. This is the master bedroom but, I'm actually not allowed in here so...
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: I love it.
Jim: You do?
Pam: Yeah, I love it!
Jim: Really?
Pam: I mean, you bought me a house!
Jim: Oh my God...
Pam: You bought me a house!
Jim: Yeah, I did.
Pam: Um, do we have to sleep in your parent's bedroom?
Jim: No, No, we'll just board that up. It'll be that weird spare room that people ask us about.
Pam: And the clown?
Jim: Yeah, I can't... really can't move him.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: When it comes down to it, it's a health issue. I should have written that.
Jim: Mmm, yeah.
Pam: Why aren't you as mad or interested in this as me?
Jim: Oh totally. Sorry, are we talking about the microwave still?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I tell Pam?
Andy: Whoa, you haven't told the misses about the castle? You're in for a spanking my friend. Myself and my lady? - no secrets.
Phyllis: Jim, don't listen to Andy. I think it's so romantic.
Jim: Oh thanks, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Where's your place?
Jim: Oh, it's on uh Linden Ave? By the quarry?
Phyllis: Oh.
Creed: Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.
Jim: Definitely we should.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: Today's a big day. Today's the day that I show Pam the house that I bought for us. Without telling her. But it's my parent's house, the house I grew up in and yeah, I bought it kind of impulsively. I mean, the price was good and I was helping out my mom. It's got shag carpets. I mean you can't blame my parents, it was the '70s. And why would you want to buy ugly wood from trees when you can have paneling? And a painting of some creepy clowns that is apparently crucial to the structural integrity of the building. She's gonna love it. Right?
 • Rating: Unrated

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