The Office

Jim Halpert Quotes (Page 24)

Kevin: So Jim, you're gonna live in the same house that you used to pee the bed in?
Jim: Yeah, I guess technically Kev, you're right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: So, Tunes, you still gonna buy your old man's place?
Jim: Yeah, I am. Wait, how do you know that? I didn't tell you that.
Andy: Ehhh no, I was just walking by your desk. I saw some email. I got peepers of an eagle.
Jim: That's really not cool.
Andy: Kaaw!
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?
Kevin: Yes.
Dwight: Brownies is it? Hm. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat? No thank you, I'll stick with my jerky.
Jim: So why did you come in here?
Dwight: To socialize. And inform.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: How does everyone know already?
Dwight: Know what?
Meredith: Pam failed art school.
Dwight: Oh, well, doesn't surprise me.
Jim: Excuse me?
Dwight: Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions.
Phyllis: Dwight, stop it.
Stanley: Dwight.
Dwight: What? Are there two suns?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Pam comes back from New York next week and everyone here has just been so excited for me. And involved. And intrusive. And weird.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Did you know that in Morocco it is common to exchange a small gift when meeting somebody for the first time? In Japan you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment. In Italy you must always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite.
Jim: Why are you telling us this?
Michael: I am jetting off on an international business trip.
Jim: Where are you going?
Michael: To Can-A-da.
Jim: Where?
Michael: Canada.
Jim: Okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I think you're right. I think it was Kelly. I think she's mad at us for not coming to her party.
Dwight: Oh, man, I knew it. Who are her co-conspirators?
Jim: Probably just Kelly.
Dwight: Obviously. I knew it.
Jim: That's what I'm saying.
Dwight: Yeah. What?
Jim: You were right.
Dwight: I was - I was right.
Jim: You were right.
Dwight: I was right.
Jim: You knew it.
Dwight: I knew it.
Jim: You knew it the whole time, buddy.
Dwight: I knew it the whole time, buddy! [shoves Jim]
Jim: Wow.
Dwight: Yeah! Woo-hoo!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Hey, how's things?
Ryan: All right.
Jim: Yeah?
Ryan: Living in the moment.
Jim: Do you have any reason to believe that Kelly would be mad at me?
Ryan: I don't play the politics game anymore, Jim. Can I tell you something? I played it full on in New York. I played it high stakes. For keeps. Made it to the top. But look what it cost.
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

Jim: I'm not talking to you.
Dwight: Who are you talking to?
Jim: Pam.
Dwight: She's not here, Jim
Jim: No, she's not.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Jim: I need a decent bonus, because I'm actually in the process of buying my parents' house so that they can retire. And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong buying a house you can't afford.
 • Rating: Unrated

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