The Office

Jim Halpert Quotes (Page 29)

Jim: Did I ever tell you why I left Scranton?
Dwight: [crying]
Jim: Yeah, I didn't think I had. Well, it was all about Pam. Yeah, I mean, she was with Roy... and I just couldn't take it. I mean, I lost it, Dwight. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything. And then weird stuff, like, food had no taste. So my solution was to move away. It was awful. And it is something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. And that includes you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Do you remember what you said to me on my first day of work, just before you walked me over to my desk?
Pam: Yeah, enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk mate Dwight.
Jim: And that's when I knew. You?
Pam: You came up to my desk, and said, this might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired.
Jim: That was the moment that you knew you liked me?
Pam: Yep.
Jim: Wow, can we make it a different moment?
Pam: Nope.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: What's going on?
Jim: Michael just called the pizza place with a list of demands.
Michael: Mister Overdramatic, what's up Kevin?
Kevin: We're getting hungry out there. We're all accomplices now anyway, so we figured we might as well eat. We would like to order some good pizza, from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe, while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Doesn't it just piss you off sometimes that that little twerp got the promotion over us?
Jim: Oh actually I withdrew from consideration.
Michael: Yeah. I withdrew too.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: You guys should come over for dinner. You and Pam. That'd be fun. Friday?
Jim: That would be fun.
Michael: Wanna come over Friday?
Jim: Uhhh. Can't.
Michael: After work you guys...
Jim: Oh, no cause... you're gonna let me know when we're close, right?
Michael: Yes. Actually I will tell you right now. It's a club called Chatroom, and there's a password to get in, which is actually password. So...
Jim: Mmmkay...
Michael: What are you doing?
Jim: Uh, that is an invitation to an online party.
Michael: No.
Jim: Yep.
Michael: No, I'm sure that's not. Na...
Jim: Are there, uh, three w's at the beginning of the address?
Michael: Yes.
Jim: Yep.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Hey man.
Darryl: What's up man?
Jim: What's going on?
Darryl: Make a delivery.
Jim: Oh yeah?
Darryl: Kelly ordered this online.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: So. This is the dealio. God has smiled upon me and given me two tickets to the big party in New York tonight. What are you doing this evening? Look at that. They have their own little language now. Like twins.
Jim: Sure we'll go.
Michael: Alright. Well fight it out amongst yourselves. I was thinking Pammy but boys night out is also good.
Jim: Oh I'm sorry. What?
Pam: One of the tickets is for him.
Michael: Just let me know who the winner is.
Pam and Jim: Not it.
Jim: Nope.
Pam: I won.
Jim: Definitely not. If anything it was a tie.
Pam: Tie goes to the girlfriend.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: The company is projecting record high sales, and that by 6:00 the website will be the new best salesman in the company. Wow! Watch out Dwight.
Dwight: That's ridiculous. I'm not going to be beaten by a website.
Jim: Actually it sounds like you are.
Dwight: Really? 'Cause Ryan says so?
Kelly: If that's from Ryan, does it mention if he's seeing anybody?
Michael: No. It doesn't. I'll find out tonight.
Stanley: Yes, please let us know.
Dwight: I can make more sales than a computer. In fact, I challenge that website to make more sales than me today.
Angela: Waste of time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: Michael? This is the press release I was telling you about. Ryan wants you to share it with everyone.
Michael: Oh, does he?
Pam: He does.
Michael: Mmmmmm. Okay. Attention. Earthlings. I have some news. Beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep. Okay. Today is the big day that I am heading to New York to attend a party with sushi and important people. On an unrelated note, if anyone has an interesting anectdote that is not boring and easy to memorize please drop by my office before I leave. Thank you.
Jim: Whoops. Is that really what Ryan wanted you to tell us?
Michael: And... today the Dunder-Mifflin Infinity website officially launches.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, and at the last minute it hits a wall and bounces away. And we are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it.
 • Rating: Unrated

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