The Office

Jim Halpert Quotes (Page 30)

Jim: One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: Thank God you were there.
Michael: Yeah.
Andy: Did you see who did it?
Dwight: No need we can just check the security tapes.
Michael: Gah. Kind of a good news bad news there. I was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her.
Jim: Who was driving?
Pam: Oh, Michael.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Ladies and Gentlemen. I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Jim: What?
Dwight: Where?
Michael: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital, and the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best that they could... And she is going to be OK.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why did you have to phrase it like that?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Jim: I broke up with Karen after the job interview, and uh... it was a little awkward when she came back from the city. She told me, very clearly, just because we were broken up didn't mean she was going anywhere, because she worked really hard for her career. But the next day her desk was empty, and as for me and my current romantic life, I uh... I'm single now and looking, so if you know anybody.
 • Rating: Unrated

IT Guy: You know generally it's not a good idea to click on offers that you haven't requested. What was the exact offer?
Pam: It was for a video.
IT Guy: Yeah, what kind of video?
Pam: A celebrity sex tape.
Jim: Really, what kind of celebrity?
Pam: Not relevant.
Jim: How much did you pay for it?
Pam: Not relevant.
Jim: You paid for it?
Pam: It all happened so fast.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Karen: So what's going to happen to us when I get this job?
Jim: Oh do you mean when I get the job?
Karen: Well, if you get the job then I'd move here with you. Would you move with me? I'm not stupid. I was at the beach. We won't have a future in Scranton. There's one too many people there.
Jim: You mean Kevin?
Karen: Exactly. But you get it, right? Can't stay there.
Jim: Yeah, I do. C'mon.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: I haven't heard anything, but I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified, and smart, everyone loves him. And if he never comes back again, that's okay. We're friends. And I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just... we never got the timing right, you know? I shot him down and then he did the same to me, but you know what? It's okay. I am totally fine. Everything is going to be totally...
[Jim walks in]
Jim: Pam. [to camera] Sorry. [to Pam] Um, are you free for dinner tonight?
Pam: Yes.
Jim: All right. Then... it's a date.
[Jim leaves, Pam smiles and tears up]
Pam: I'm sorry, what was the question?
 • Rating: Unrated

School Official: The issue with the watermark is very serious.
Jim: Absolutely.
School Official: We teach our students that character counts.
Jim: And you should.
School Official: But-
Andy: Pfft. You don't teach it well enough. One of your students is a bitch.
Jim: Andy... is having a real rough day today.
Andy: I want to take out an ad, in your yearbook. A full page, two words-
Jim: "Good luck."
Andy: That's not what I had in mind.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Whoa! What the--- Why is my girlfriend here?
Jim: Oh, is she that teacher in the white?
Andy: No, she's a part-time frozen yogurt chef.
Jim: Which one... is she?
Andy: The one in the green hoodie.
Jim: Wow.
Andy: I wonder if she's, like, a... a guidance counselor, or something?
Jim: No, I don't think so.
Andy: She's like, probably a tutor.
Jim: Nope.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: So, Tuna. When we get in there, let's do a really good job, okay?
Jim: Did that really need to be said?
Andy: Well not everything a guy says needs to be said. Sometimes it's just about the music of the conversation.
 • Rating: Unrated

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