The Office

Jim Halpert Quotes (Page 31)

Andy: Nice. Check out this sunshine, man. Global warming, right? Today was supposed to be really cold, I bet.
Jim: What about music? Do you have any music?
Andy: Uh, yeah. Should have said so. [sings] Rha-dah-dah-dah! Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul. I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away-he-hay. Ruu-da-doo-da-doo, ba-dit-da-doo-da-dun, Give me the beat, boys, and free my little-ole-soul, I wa--
Jim: I was thinkin' about more like a CD, or... a CD.
Andy: Your call, dude. My girlfriend made an awesome mix. Beer me that disc.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I have invited Barbara Allen, one of our oldest clients, to come in here, and meet with me, for a personal apology. The press wants a story, I will give them a story.
Jim: Oh, did the press ask for a story?
Michael: Here is your headline. "Scranton Area Paper Company, Dunder Mifflin, apologizes to valued client. Some companies still know how business is done." Okay? Battle stations everybody, let's go, go, go, go, go, go!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Jim, big fire in your house. Your client, Dunmore High-school, sent out their prom invitations on this paper. Went home to all the kids.
Jim: Yeah, I gotta call out on that.
Michael: No, no, no, no. Not good enough. This is a keystone account. I want you in the school. In person.
Jim: All right.
Michael: I want you to bring a partner.
Ryan: I'll go.
Michael: No, sweet cheeks. We need someone who's actually made a sale. Andy, you go.
Andy: William Dolittle at your service. A.K.A., Will Do.
Jim: Yeah, I'm definitely gonna go alone.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
Jim: ... MICHAEL!
Dwight: Oh, that's funny. MICHAEL!
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Beer me!
Jim: What's that?
Andy: Hand me that water. I always say, "Beer me." Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time.
Jim: Lord, beer me strength.
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: The baler can flatten a car engine. It can cut off your arm and crush your entire body without skipping a beat.
Dwight: Yeah!
Andy: It's on!
Darryl: How many people a year do you think get their arms cut off in a baler?
Michael: Bail'er? I hardly know her.
Lonny: Dammit, Michael. Pay attention, man.
Darryl: Anybody wanna take a guess? Anybody?
Kevin: Five bucks says it's over 50.
Jim: You really wanna bet?
Darryl: Anybody?
Kevin: Ever since March Madness ended, I am so bored.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Mornin' Jim.
Jim: Hey, Andy. How are you, man?
Andy: Good. Drew.
Jim: What's that?
Andy: You can call me Drew.
Jim: No, I'm not gonna call you that.
Andy: Cool. I can't control what you do. I can only control what I do.
Jim: Andy.
Andy: Drew.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard that he is being shunned?
Jim: Andy, Dwight says welcome back and he could use a hug.
Dwight: Okay, tell him that that's not true.
Jim: Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks.
Dwight: Okay, no, Jim, tell him bears can climb faster than they can run. [Andy walks away] Jim! Tell him!
Jim: Andy... nah, he's too far.
Dwight: Damn you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: Sorry I almost got you killed.
Jim: Yeah, that was nuts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: Who makes it?
Michael: Uh, MISSterious. And it is mysterious because the buttons are on the wrong side... that's the mystery.
Phyllis: Look, it's got shoulder pads, and did you see that lining?
Michael: Okay.
Phyllis: Did you see...
Michael: Would you stop it, please?
Jim: So, none of that tipped you off?
Michael: It's European, OK? It's a European cut.
Pam: Michael, the pants don't have any pockets.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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