The Office

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Jim Halpert Quotes (Page 38)

Season 2, Episode 20: "Drug Testing"

Jim: So, yesterday Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. Which is unfortunate, because it turns out that Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.
• Rating: Unrated

Jim: You look cute today, Dwight.
Dwight: Thanks, girl.
• Rating: Unrated

Jim: I'm just saying you can't be sure that it wasn't you.
Dwight: That's ridiculous. Of course it wasn't me.
Jim: Marijuana is a memory loss drug. So maybe you just don't remember.
Dwight: I would remember.
Jim: How could you, if it just erased your memory?
Dwight: That's not how it works!
Jim: Now, how do you know how it works?
Dwight: Knock it off! OK, now I am interviewing you!
Jim: No, you said that I'd be conducting the interviewing when I walked in here. NOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH POT DID YOU SMOKE?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Oscar: So, Pam told me you do a great Stanley impression. I'd love to hear it.
Jim: Oh, um. "Why do you keep CCing me on things that have nothing to do with me?"
Stanley: Is that supposed to be me?
Jim: Oh, hey, Stanley. Uh, I was just doing an impression.
Stanley: I do not think that is funny.
Pam: He does everyone in the office.
Stanley: Hmph. [leaves]
Jim and Pam: "I do not think that is funny."
• Rating: Unrated

Season 2, Episode 19: "Michael's Birthday"

Pam: We got Kevin 69 Cup-of-Noodles.
Jim: Which we realize sounds crass, but it is his favorite number.
Pam: And his favorite lunch.
• Rating: Unrated

Season 2, Episode 17: "Dwight's Speech"

Jim: [re: Dwight's award] It is literally the highest possible honor that a northeastern Pennsylvania-based mid-size paper company regional salesman can attain.
• Rating: Unrated

Jim: Dwight, The key to being a good public speaker is waving your arms in the air and pounding your fists on the table. A lot.
• Rating: Unrated

Jim: Dwight, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Dwight: I CAN travel anywhere, except Cuba, and I WILL travel to New Zealand and walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor and I will hike Mount Doom.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Season 2, Episode 16: "Valentine's Day"