Pam: Jim uses a 6 pound ball.Jim: That is a lie, that is a lie.
Pam: Yes, he bowled 5 frames with this pink sparkly thing until a little girl had to ask for her ball back.
Jim: But! That girl must've had monstrous hands because the holes fit.
Pam: No, you just have little dainty fingers.
Bob: Oh yeah. You can always model ladies' jewelry.
Jim: Nobody asked, Bob!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Bob: Everyone here who's bowled a 280 please raise your hand. [Bob does so]
Jim: No way, a 280?
Pam: Wow, that's impressive.
Phyllis: Okay. Now everyone here who's bowled under 70 raise their hand.
Jim: Yikes.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Phyllis: It is so nice to go out with another couple.
Pam: Anything to get out of that office.
Phyllis: I know.
Bob: I honestly don't know how you can work with that jackass, that other jackass, and that new jackass.
Phyllis: He's talking about Michael, Dwight, and Andy.
Jim: Yeah, I understood.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Phyllis: Hey, why don't you guys come have lunch with Bob and me? We'll take all afternoon. [whispering] Michael is terrified of Bob.
Pam: What do you think?
Jim: I have a lot of work to do this afternoon. Those mines aren't gonna sweep themselves.
Pam: We're in.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: Uh, I actually thought we were keeping it pretty low-key.
Michael: Well, if you guys insist on having your own private little love fest-
Jim: We do.
Michael: - that none of us can be a part of-
Pam: You can't be a part of our relationship, Michael.
Michael: - then, we, are gonna have our own private Valentine's Day party.
Jim: That sounds fun.
Michael: So suck it. Hey everybody, I just invited Jim to suck it, and I am cordially inviting all of you to a special convention, a lonely heart's convention, this afternoon. Singles only.
Dwight: Yeah, deal with it Pam!
Michael: So we may not have someone in our lives that we love, but we do have each other.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Pam, really, they're back?
Pam: I can't see them when they're on the floor
Jim: They're for her to look at, Michael.
Michael: Can I have a word with you, Jim?
Jim: Yes, let's have a word.
Michael: Yes, um, Jim. Today is a very difficult day for a lot of people in this office.
Jim: Oh, I'm sorry.
Michael: Yeah. And the sexy looks between you and Pam, the general sexiness, the flowers, it's creating a bit of a hostile work environment.
Jim: I understand that.
Dwight: So sexy it becomes hostile.
Michael: Mm-hmm.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: This is our first and only Valentine's Day as fiances.
Jim: You're only engaged once. Well present company excluded, but...
Pam: Really, Jim? On Cupid's birthday?
Jim: Yeah...
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: When I was seven, my Dad took me to the Natural History Museum in New York. And we looked at fossils all day. And at the end of the day, he got me a little plastic triceratops. It was awesome.
Dwight: That's cool. Hey, you know what's even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed.
Jim: Didn't see that one coming.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: Look, is there a birthday you remember that you loved?
Dwight: Here's one. It was dark, warm, wet. A sudden burst of light. An intense pressure like I'd never felt before. Father, dressed in white, pulls me forward. Mother bites the cord.
Jim: Okay, stop. Forever stop that story. That's disgusting, and it doesn't count. So give me another one.
Dwight: Schrutes don't celebrate birthdays, idiot. It started as a Depression-era practicality, and then moved on to an awesome tradition that I look forward to every year.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: Okay, so far, our ideal party consists of beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, blood, touch football, mating, charades, and yes, horse hunting.
Dwight: You're right, forget horse hunting. It's stupid.
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 351
