Season 3, Episode 11: "Back From Vacation"
Jim: Yikes.Kevin: Already sent it to you my friend.
Jim: Fantastic.
Andy: Boring. Call me if she rolls over.
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Jim: You want to talk about it?
Karen: Nope.
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Season 3, Episode 10: "A Benihana Christmas "
Michael: Why do I feel like crap?Jim: You just had a rebound.
Michael: I had a rebound.
Jim: Yeah. Which, don't get me wrong, can be a really fun distraction, but when it's over... you're left thinking about the girl you really like. The one that broke your heart.
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Michael: I need my entourage. Jim, Dwight, Ryan, c'mon - we're going to Asian Hooters.
Ryan: I'm not feeling so well. I've got a ton of work to do here. MSG allergy, peanut allergy, I just ate there last night.
Michael: Alright, feel better.
Jim: Wow, thanks for taking all the excuses, dude.
Ryan: Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in World War II. Use your head, man. Look alive, Halpert.
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Jim: It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. [pause] Is bold the right word?
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Dwight: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Jim: Wow. Win-win.
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Season 3, Episode 9: "The Convict"
Jim: Where did you learn all of this?Prison Mike: Internet.
Jim: So, not prison.
Prison Mike: And prison. Fifty-fifty... both. Look, prison stinks is what I'm saying.
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Jim: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy: [singing] You know I can, my man.
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Jim: [picks up phone] Jim Halpert.
Andy: I am so horny.
Jim: Okay, I can't help you with that.
Andy: Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.
Jim: She is dating Ryan, I think.
Andy: Oh, and I care why?
Jim: She's high-maintenance.
Andy: Next. How about... Angela. Blondes are more fun. C'mon, trust me on that.
Jim: Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.
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Season 3, Episode 8: "Branch Closing"
Jim: I always knew that the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be because Michael would sell the building for some magic beans. • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 373
