Jim: Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that. And please, for both of our sakes, never, ever, ever see her again.Michael: I think you're underestimating Pam. I think more than anything she wants me to be happy.
Jim: No. Not more than anything.
Michael: Ok. I have a good thing with the mom.
Jim: Don't call her the mom.
Michael: She's right on my way home from work.
Jim: THEN TAKE A DIFFERENT WAY HOME MAN!
Michael: Alright! I'll take service streets.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: Is there something about being a manager that makes you say stupid things?
Micbael: I have no found that to be the case.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: This is a fire cracker-free wedding.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael [on Jim and Pam's wedding]" It's just a really important day for me.
Jim: Well, congrats!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: I've been studying Michael for years and I've condensed what I've learned into this chart. [holds up pie chart] "How Michael Spends His Time." You can see we have "procrastinating," and "distracting others," and this tiny sliver here, is "critical thinking." I made it bigger. So that you could see it.
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Kevin: What does a bean mean?
Pam: Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?
Kevin: Michael, what does a bean mean.
Pam: Jim?
Jim: I was just trying to be unbiased.
Kevin: WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN.
Oscar: Would someone please explain to Kevin?
Meredith: Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours.
Phyllis: Not according to the beans.
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Michael: You know what would help is a pros and cons list for our options. Jim don't take this the wrong way. Are you going to take this the wrong way?
Jim: It's hard to tell so far.
Michael: You use your brain too much.
Jim: I'm sorry are you advocating that I use it less?
Michael: Sometimes the smartest people don't think at all.
Jim: You just came up with that.
Michael: As I was saying it.
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Jim: Ok I thought I saw people missing.
Michael: Yeah. Just focus grouping a product expansion idea to these folks. Got one of each.
Jim: Really. Hey Stanley, what was the last thing Michael said before I came through the door.
Michael: Stanley you don't need to answer that.
Jim: Stanley?
Stanley: If you don't smell this you're fired.
Jim: Ok. Michael, I thought we agreed to not take up people's time with meetings like these.
Michael: What do you mean by "these people"?
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Michael: If I can just, think this through. If I can just think it exactly right, I can make this perfect. And then I can go down every avenue and every avenue off of that avenue. And then another avenue-
Jim: Michael!
Michael: And then another...
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Michael: You know there's no easy way to do this. I say we add 1.5 percent to their paychecks and don't say anything about it.
Jim: Do you mean like, break in in the middle of the night and change the numbers on payroll?
Michael: No, we can do it during the day. It doesn't have to be that dramatic, Jim.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 351
