Season 5, Episode 27: "Cafe Disco"
Michael: Daddy's here for you. My wittle angels. Ok. I think that I have figured a way to get you guys out of your funk.Pam: What?
Michael: Funk is the problem and the solution.
Jim: That makes sense.
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Jim: There are other reasons to go to Ohio.
Pam: We're getting married today.
Jim: So, it turns out it's the closest place to get a marriage license without a 3 day waiting period.
Pam: Tell 'em how it happened.
Jim: Ok. So, we're going through all the wedding plans and, boy, it is complicated.
Pam: And very expensive.
Jim: Very expensive. Cause you say you want a small wedding and that's great but then you have to invite -
Pam: You can't leave anyone out.
Jim: No one.
Pam: Ok, just get to the good part.
Jim: Ok. Right. Oh, so this morning we are having breakfast together and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, " You know what I want to do today? I want to marry you."
Pam: I had just woken up. I didn't look cute. That's how I knew he meant it.
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Season 5, Episode 26: "Casual Friday"
Michael: I need your help. This whole Pam/Ryan debate is screwing with my head.Jim: I don't want to be biased, but I am very close to Ryan. You know that.
Michael: You're close with Pam too.
Jim: Eh, she's nice, I guess.
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Jim: I'm just hiding out until all this stuff blows over. With Creed. Playing chess. At work. He's winning. I feel like I'm describing a dream I had.
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Creed: [playing chess] No. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do this, I'm gonna do that.
Jim: Well, what if I just do this?
Creed: You don't want to do that.
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Creed: It's crazy what's going on out there today, huh?
Jim: I know. Yeah, it's... kinda -
Creed: Sometimes it's best just to stay out of it.
Jim: That's true. That's right. Yeah.
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Michael: If there is something that you would like to say as a group, then by all means, you may say it to me right now.
Angela: Okay.
Michael: Yes.
Angela: People are dressed inappropriately.
Michael: Take it up with Toby. What I want you to do, is I want you to look inward. And I want you to reflect. And I want you to say something different.
Jim: Can you give us a hint?
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Creed: I want to set you up with my daughter.
Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don't know.
• Rating: 9.7 / 10 • Permalink
Season 5, Episode 25: "Broke"
Charles: So how long can they stay viable?Jim: What are your top five cases?
Dwight: I'm gonna answer Charles first.
Jim: Because you've solved zero cases.
Dwight: Okay, one. Case of the beet bandit. Missing beets from all over the farm. No footprints. Inside job. Mose in socks. Boom, case closed.
Charles: Okay, do not go anywhere near the conference room.
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Dwight: Well, Jerry, the one who got away. May I ask why you're leaving the Michael Scott Paper Company? Really? Please hold. [gets up and runs to kitchen] Charles.
Charles: Dwight.
Dwight: May I have your attention? The Michael Scott Paper Company is broke.
Charles: What? How'd you hear that?
Dwight: They've been calling all of their clients and begging them to pay more money. That can only mean one thing. They're desperate. Which can only mean one thing. They're total failures.
Jim: Great work Dwight.
Dwight: Quiet you.
Jim: No, I mean, great detective work. 'Cause this must be the first case you've ever cracked, right?
Dwight: You don't crack a case. That has pejorative connotation. That's like calling a policeman a cop. You solve a case, and yes, I've solved plenty.
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Total Quotes: 351
