Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Chandler: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Which sister?
Chandler: Richard's going to the party too, huh?
Monica: He's my parents' best friend. He has to be there.
Joey: So, is today the day you gonna tell them about you two?
Monica: Yeah, for my Dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
Ross: (About Mark offering Rachel a job) Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, ya know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Rachel: To be nice.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joey: So what are you gonna do?
Ross: What can I do? One person wants to break up, you break up.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys. Call her and work it out.
Ross: Oh come on. We just had this huge fight, all right? Don't I have to wait a while?
Chandler: Hey, this isn't like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!! (Ross goes to call her)
Chandler: You know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
Joey: Yeah, Tell that to my Uncle Lenny.
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Joey: Nothing, he just really believes in that.
(In a deep, scratchy voice) Uh, hello Miss Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know that he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within, within 24 hours. Uh, goodbye.
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.
Rosss: My wife's a lesbian.
Joey: Cool!
Joey: Some girl ate Monica!
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: Ah, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Joey: (About Chandler's third nipple) I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
Ross: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
Joey: I don't know. You see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
Joey: You're smoking again?!
Chandler: Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm, I'm smoking still.
Joey: You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?!
Chandler: You're kidding!
Joey: Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that!
Chandler: Ya know, you'd think I would have.
Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.
