Joey: Oh yeah. Go for it, man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe. I assure you if I'm ever staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much gonna be peeing every which way.

Face your fear. You have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building. You're afraid of bugs, get a bug.

Monica: I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
Joey: I love that movie.
(Grabs boob from under Joey's head)
Monica: Here it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.

Phoebe: Well, it was just... it was all so crazy, you know? I mean, Chandler was in the closet counting to 10, and he was up to 7, and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See? All of it.
Joey: Yep, that's my audition.
Monica: See? Now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.

Monica: (Looking at potential sperm donors) Look at this guy! He's from Queens, 27, an actor. From a big family, 7 girls and he's the only... (Looks at Joey) ...boy. Oh my God, under Personal Comments, "New York Knicks rule."
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule!

Ah, this guy's an astronaut, that would have been so cool! (Monica looks at Joey) For like a day.

Rachel: (About the sling on Joey's arm) Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Joey: No. I had a whole cover story, but Chandler here sold me out.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe, I didn't think the doctor would buy that it just fell out of the socket.

Chandler: Okay Joe, I gotta ask. The hot girl from the xerox place buck naked (He gestures with his one hand), or a big tub of jam (He gestures with his other hand)?
Joey: Put your hands together.

Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.

Joey: Remember when your mom would send you to the movies with a jar of jam and a spoon?
Rachel: (Pats Joey on the head) You're so pretty.

Joey: Oh, Jam? I love jam! Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.

Joey: All right, they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: (Joey takes a drink) Yeah, it's fat. I drank fat!
Chandler: Yeah I know, I did that two minutes ago.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 361 in total

Friends Quotes

Monica: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, I got no reason to live.
Ross: Uh Joey... omnipotent.
Joey: You are? I'm so sorry. (To Chandler) I didn't know, I thought it was one of those theoretical questions.

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

x Close Ad