Scrubs

Jordan Sullivan Quotes (Page 9)

Jordan: Okay, now that we're being all open and honest?
Dr. Cox: Yeah.
Jordan: I do not want to have any more kids. I think you should get the vasectomy!
Dr. Cox: Fantastic.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: All righty, let's go for the hat-trick, there, doc.
Doctor: Are you sure?
Jordan: Hey, doc! Zip it, grip it, and snip it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jordan: (about Elliot) She has nice breasts.
Carla: They're real.
Jordan: No, they're not.
J.D.: Yeah, they are.
Jordan: They're not!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Elliot, your interviewer called, he's running late. Would you take Turk somewhere for me?
Elliot: Where?
Jordan: Oh. The, uh, honey festival!
Elliot: Oh my God! Is that back in town?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jordan: Sweetie, you won't have to do that! Sure, if it's something really important, you might have to occasionally sleep with someone. That's how I hooked up with Perry - needed a pen.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: I have been kicking ass lately, but this place is such a boys' club I still can't even get x-rays or lab tests back on time.
Carla: Hey, Elliot, if you're desperate to get things done, you could always do what Jordan does.
Jordan: Could you move my car out of the sun? If the seat gets too hot, my thighs get all pink and sweaty.
The guy grabs the keys and takes off in a flash.
Jordan: Yeah. Bye-bye, security guard.
Elliot: Hm. Very classy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jordan: Don't judge me, stick. You do what you have to do to level the playing field.
Elliot: Well, Carla and I would never behave that way.
Carla: Thank you.
Elliot: How'd you get chocolate cake? He said they didn't have any!
Carla: Oh. I just did like this (thrusts cleavage) and said, "Got cake?"
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: Okay, so I tried to get some x-rays back from the lab tech by making a kissy face, and he asked me if I had palsy!
Jordan: Elliot, if you want to get ahead, you have to use what God gave ya!
Carla: Or in your case, what Dr. Fineberg gave you.
Jordan: Exactly!
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Ladies. I think we've learned our lesson.
Jordan: That is not helpful, Turkleton!
Turk: I was covered in bees!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: Jordan. You're on the board, what is the story on my patient Mr. Summers?
Jordan: Well Stick, I'm going to warn you the same way I warn Perry every time I have more than three scotches. Prepare to have your ass grabbed!
Elliot: That's disturbing in like... eight different ways.
 • Rating: Unrated

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